To pause

My tendency is to push, to perform. I need to redirect often -- to pause. Mid-January I shared a Thomas Moore quote on enchantment's invitation to pause. Maybe because I am still a little uncomfortable with inactivity I like the idea of movement in the quote below. In Hearing with the Heart, author Debra Farrington makes the statement that busyness – a form of pridefulness – has for some time been more popular than patience, paying attention, pausing. She shares this Kierkegaard quote:

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“Pausing is not a sluggish repose. Pausing is also movement. It is the inward movement of the heart. To pause is to deepen oneself in inwardness.” - Soren Kierkegaard

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Today I got to pause by enjoying gentle conversation with a friend, and being still and reflecting.
Inward movement. I am a grateful girl.

May opportunities come your way - today - to pause.

A doorway

Another Mary Oliver poem that I appreciate:

----

It doesn't have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones, just
pay attention, then patch

A few words together and don't try
to make them elaborate, this isn't
a contest but the doorway

into thanks,
and a silence in which
another voice may speak.

- Mary Oliver -

Astonished

I've been thinking about the 'right' job for me. Sometimes it does a body good (or at least it does my body good) to consider various ways of thinking: another perspective, especially one with a positive spin. I appreciate this poem and its perspective on "work."

Messenger

My work is loving the world.
Here the sunflowers, there the hummingbird
Equal seekers of sweetness.
Here the quickening yeast; there the blue plums.
Here the clam deep in the specked sand.

Are my boots old? Is my coat torn?
Am I no longer young, and still not half-perfect? Let me
Keep my mind on what matters,
Which is my work,

Which is mostly standing still and learning to be
astonished.
The phoebe, the delphinium.
The sheep in the pasture, and the pasture.
Which is mostly rejoicing since all ingredients are here,

Which is gratitude, to be given a mind and a heart
And these body-clothes,
A mouth with which to give shouts of joy
To the moth and the wren, to the sleepy dug-up clam,
Telling them all, over and over, how it is
That we live forever.

- Mary Oliver -

Watching my words

Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

The last couple of days I've been reading through Proverbs. I am again struck by the wisdom of watching my words, and letting my words be few.

He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles. -Proverbs 21:22 (NAS)

Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips he is considered prudent. -Proverbs 17:28 (NAS)

When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. -Proverbs 10:19 (NIV)

Giving advice

For a number of years I've been working on NOT giving unsolicited advice. In this past decade of children growing into adulthood I've had numerous opportunities to practice. Sadly though, albeit now often more veiled, I still let advice slip out, against my wiser wishes. It happened again recently, and I don't feel good about it.

Rather, I want to increasingly be a life-giving listening presence.
"Good listeners know how to be present to what you're saying without jumping in with advice on how they handled things...they are people who listen to us with an open heart, who ask questions without a specific agenda behind them and without needing to get specific answers from us. And they avoid being judgmental about our choices." - Debra K. Farrington, p 122, Hearing With the Heart

"A fool does not delight in understanding, but only in revealing his own mind." Proverbs 19:13 NAS
"Answering before listening is both stupid and rude."
Proverbs 19:13 The Message

"Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit
- you choose." Proverbs 18:21 The Message

Its reasons

This quote takes us far from the last entry dealing with our physical selves, to a much more philosophical/spiritual place --

"The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing."

- Blaise Pascal, Pensées'

Sleep tight

A few more words on sleep, along with a few more pictures.

Studies have shown that sleep capacity—how long you’ll sleep if you go to bed and get up whenever you want—is about 8 hours and 45 minutes for healthy young males (the group that’s been researched most). In three separate studies, that amount varied less than 30 minutes from person to person.

But most of us get less: 58% of us sleep 5 to 7 hours a night. It’s been mentioned that stress hormones and sleep are related, as are low mood with less sleep. “Positive moods are lower in people with sleep loss,” says Eve Van Cauter, PhD, professor of medicine at the University of Chicago.

Sleep deprivation can also affect how your body handles insulin; insulin resistance puts you at risk for weight gain and diabetes. In a study that’s still under way, Van Cauter and her colleagues are looking at chronic sleep loss in a group of normal-weight men and women under age 30. Over 6 months, those who slept fewer than 6.5 hours a night were more insulin-resistant than normal sleepers who logged 7.5 to 8 hours per night. The short sleepers, the study shows so far, need to produce 30 to 40 percent more insulin to dispose of the same amount of glucose. (http://www.health.com/health)

So, may you sleep tight tonight: knowing that you’re doing your body and psyche good!

More sleep

I almost never have difficulty going to sleep. In fact there are stories circulating about a couple of awkward I-can't-believe-she-fell-asleep situations (one amongst a noisy crowd and another involving a more intimate moment). Suffice it to say that I've not gone looking for tidbits on better sleep: I've just been harping on others about the need for more sleep. But when I happen upon a juicy tidbit, I latch on. Like this one -

"Not getting enough rest increases your risk of being obese -
and the less sleep you get, the greater the risk"

Upon reading this statement that I read in the Jan/Feb 2008 Health issue I decided to do a bit of investigating to answer some of my own questions (what is not enough rest? how great is the risk: like 0.2% or 100%? who says?)
Turns out there's a guy named Michael Breus, aka 'the sleep doctor', who has written a book on sleep, who has a website (http://www.yourbeautysleep.com/ NOTE: the site seems to be mostly about selling rather than imparting info. But there is another website that Dr. Mike informed me of in the comments, and it has informative articles: www.soundsleepsolutions.com) and who has been on Oprah -- who knew? I had never even heard of him before this mention in Health. But, I digress. To the good stuff:

"Two hormones affected by lack of sleep are directly related to eating: gherlin (the "go" hormone that tells you to eat) and leptin (the "stop" hormone that tells you you're full). 'Sleep deprivation causes an increase in gherlin and a decrease in leptin,' says Michael Breus, PhD, author of Beauty Sleep. Being low on sleep also causes cortisol levels to rise, which gives you a greater appetite. 'Your metabolism slows, too,' he adds." - Health Jan/Feb 2008 (www.health.com/sleep)

That's a quadruple whammy. Maybe tonight I'll go to bed a little bit earlier. You?
For a teeny bit more info on getting a good night's sleep, go to http://www.niapublications.org/agepages/sleep.asp

Even in sleep

It is vain for you to rise up early,
To retire late,
To eat the bread of painful labors;
For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.
Psalm 127:2 (NAS)

It's useless to rise early and go to bed late,
and work your worried fingers to the bone.
Don't you know he enjoys
giving rest to those he loves?
Psalm 127:2 The Message paraphrase

Enough sleep

"Americans get an average of six and a half hours of sleep a night,

a 25 percent drop since the early 1900s."

My family will testify that I think getting enough sleep is crucial. They'd likely even say I'm fanatical about it, though I don't always get as much sleep as I think I need. They argue that they don't need as much as the recommended 7.5 hours. In the next entries I'll pass along some benefits of getting adequate zzz's, but for now I'm reminding myself of some spiritual benefits of rest.

I read these words in an formative daily commentary, called Breakpoint:
"God built rest into the very rhythm of creation. Keeping a day of rest made His top-10 list…
Rest reminds us that there is Someone we can rest in. And our need for rest is a daily reminder that we are finite creatures and must trust in an infinite God." www.breakpoint.org

"And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done."
Genesis 2:3 (NIV)

Enchantment

"It's difficult to imagine being busy and enchanted at the same time.

Enchantment invites us to pause and be arrested by whatever is before us;
instead of doing something, something is done to us."
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-Thomas Moore, The Re-Enchantment of Everyday Life
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Beginning again

Recently I've been frustrated with myself: I am afraid of failing. In thinking about beginning some new endeavors in the vocational realm, I get tripped up by putting pressure on self to do it - whatever it is - amazingly well, or at the least better than before. Though the quote below primarily focus on meditation, the words address my everyday. I need to often go back to this idea of releasing failed attempts, and beginning again. It IS a big deal for me to start over again, and to be gentle with self.

From an article in Health magazine on meditation -

"The truth is, maybe you have two to three breaths before the mind wanders...The point isn't to turn off thinking, but to watch what happens when your mind wanders, to notice it with almost clinical observation, then let go of the thought and simply go back to breathing. That's the essence of meditation: being aware of what you're thinking without getting caught up in it, releasing those thoughts, and starting over again.
'Simple instructions - practicing moments of letting go and beginning again -can have lifelong effects... It's a big deal to always be able to begin again. It says a lot about forgiveness and renewal, and being able to be gentle with yourself.'"
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I am soothed by the truth that God is gentle with me. He constantly lovingly reaches out to me, offering new beginnings.

Is this repeating phrase in the pages of Scripture a comfort to you as well as me?

"The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness..."
Psalm 103:8; Joel 2:13; Jonah 4:2; Psalm 86:15; Numbers 14:18; Exodus 34:6

Out of the traffic

Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God..."

Psalm 46:10 The Message paraphrase

Step out of the traffic - isn't that an interesting way to say "Be still"? Pull away, do it differently, remove yourself from danger, stop moving.

Reminds me of an activity - rather more an inactivity - that I mentioned yesterday: the relaxation response. The relaxation response was first named in 1974 by doctor and professor Herbert Benson and his colleagues. After studying physiological changes occurring in people practicing transcendental meditation, a pattern was noted that included reductions in blood pressure, respiratory rate, heart rate, oxygen consumption, blood flow to skeletal muscles, perspiration, and muscle tension. (Benson, H. (1975). The Relaxation Response. New York, NY: William Morrow and Company, Inc.)
Stress, with activation of the sympathetic nervous system, causes an increase rather than decrease in all the aforementioned positive meditative effects. The relaxation response is an antidote to the effects of the stress response. Additionally, increases in alpha waves were observed with the relaxation response, along with enhanced effectiveness of the body’s defenses and self-repair mechanisms.

There are two essential steps to elicit a relaxation response:

1. Repetition of a word, sound, phrase, prayer, or muscular activity.
2. Passive disregard of everyday thoughts that inevitably come to mind and the return to your repetition.

Other techniques for evoking the relaxation response are
imagery, progressive muscle relaxation, repetitive prayer, mindfulness meditation, repetitive physical exercises, breath focus.

If interested, go to http://www.mbmi.org/basics/whatis_rresponse_elicitation.asp for the easy-to-do generic technique taught at the Benson-Henry Institute.

Time for me to go pull out of the traffic.

In the moment

It is easy for me to think in distorted ways, or over-think, and often I need to slow and center my thinking. Meditative prayer helps me to do that.

Be still (cease striving, let go, relax) and know that I am God.
Psalm 46:10

Though attempting meditation for some years now, it is not yet easy for me to let go - of my to-do list, of my agenda, of my frenzied thoughts. But I will continue my practice, aiming for increasing "relaxed openness" and attention to the present moment. I am instructed by these words:

"A number of studies indicate that certain forms of meditation help... to remain more continually attentive to all that is happening in the present moment. The meditations that work in this way encourage an attitude of relaxed openness, not tense concentration." - Gerald May, Addiction & Grace

Jon Kabat-Zinn, a Ph.D. working the last 20 plus years at University of Massachusetts Medical Center’s Stress Reduction Clinic, says that what meditation is really about is “the capacity to cultivate the innate ability to pay attention” (Meili, T., & Kabat-Zinn, J. (2004). The Power of the Human Heart: A Story of Trauma and Recovery and Its Implications for Rehabilitation and Healing. Advances in Mind-Body Medicine, 20, 5-11). Giving attention to the moment is a component of mindfulness. Mindfulness is a moment-to-moment nonjudgmental awareness. Combining the relaxation response with meditative mindfulness, Kabat-Zinn suggests, “…sense the breath so that you are not thinking about it so much as feeling the breath at the nostrils…or the movement of the belly in conjunction with the breath…and allowing yourself to just drop into the rising and falling of your own breath…so that there is a sense of giving yourself over completely to this moment just the way it is without any struggle…without any need for it to be different…A sense of yourself as whole…as complete in this moment…” (Meili & Kabat-Zinn, 2004).

In those who went through the Kabat-Zinn clinic’s eight-week outpatient mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) program, a randomized trial revealed that “the people who learned meditation showed a dramatic shift from a right-sided activation (usually associated with anxiety and depression) to a left-sided activation (usually associated with a sense of well-being, happiness, and enthusiasm). They were able to deal with complex emotions under stress much more effectively than the people who were in the control group” (Meili & Kabat-Zinn, 2004).

I am encouraged by research results, and by occasional good outcomes personally. Maybe you'll want to join with me in giving attention to these 'mantras'?

Breathe deeply, enjoy this moment, be still, be present, be here, just be.

Thinking

Life consists in what a man is thinking of all day. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are what we think. With our thoughts, we make our world. - Buddha

As a man (or woman) thinks, so is he (or she). - Proverbs 23:7

A happy face

I don't care for the cold or dark, so January has not been my favorite month. But yesterday while walking together, a friend mentioned a positive about January: that longer days hint at coming spring. As we were walking close to the time of sunset, I added that often in winter the Minnesota sunsets are colorful and that too is a plus. Her comment was a gift; being reminded to look for the good consistently moves me toward emotional well-being.
Today, upon culling out some past emails, I was reminded of another way of feeling better.

Just put on a happy face.

Really. I'm smiling serious.

Last summer I read Blink: The Power of Thinking without Thinking. Author Malcolm Gladwell writes about researchers who studied emotions and facial expression; they looked in detail at what specific muscles of the face moved with specific emotions, and happened upon some surprises.
"Much of our understanding of mind reading comes from two remarkable scientists, a teacher and his pupil: Silvan Tomkins and Paul Ekman….the information on our face…is what is going on inside our mind… Ekman said… “What we discovered is that expression alone is sufficient to create marked changes in the autonomic nervous system."

On the days that the researchers made expressions of anger and distress for the purpose of determining what facial muscles were employed, the researchers noticed that they felt terrible; their heartbeat went up, their hands got hot, and they felt generally unpleasant.

"Ekman, Friesen, and another colleague, Robert Levenson….decided to try to document this effect. They gathered a group of volunteers and hooked them up to monitors measuring their heart rate and body temperature – the physiological signals of such emotions as anger, sadness, and fear. Half of the volunteers were told to try to remember and relive a particularly stressful experience. The other half were simply shown how to create, on their faces, the expressions that corresponded to stressful emotions, such as anger, sadness, and fear. The second group, the people who were acting, showed the same physiological responses, the same heightened heart rate and body temperature, as the first group….Emotion can start on the face." P 206-208

When we feel happy, most often it is reflected on our faces. But now we know that merely putting on a happy face brings gladness.

"Bright eyes gladden the heart..."
Proverbs 15:30
(New American Standard translation)

Seriously, I'm smiling!

Soul Food

I recently obtained a beautiful rug. It feeds my soul to have such a thing of beauty: crafted with human hands, knotted from natural fibers of wool and cotton, vibrant with color from natural vegetable dyes, creative in design with floral and geometric motifs.

Why is beauty so desirable? What about beauty draws us?
I am drawn to so much of what is 'natural' and find most created things beautiful. I wonder if it is because God had a hand in it and He is beautiful? I see the Creator God in all His creation [Well, most all of creation; I still have questions about some things - like mosquitoes that seem both ugly in appearance and function, and like any of us humans who can act sometimes with such ugliness.]

It is said that Persion rugs will almost always include intentional imperfections. "There's an old Persian proverb that says, 'A Persian Rug is Perfectly Imperfect, and Precisely Imprecise.' This notion of intentionally including slight and minor irregularities is derived from the religious belief that God is the only perfect being and that attempting absolute perfection would be claiming the position of the Almighty." http://www.persian-carpet.info/classification-of-persian-rugs.php

So, I gaze at my rug and it reminds me of both me and God. In the imperfections I am reminded that I am not God (like I need to be reminded of that!) but that God finds beauty even in imperfect me (and all human beings). And in the beautifully crafted design and color in the rug - in all beauty - I see God and my soul/spirit is refreshed.

Does beauty draw you in, or feed your soul? What is beauty to you?

On beauty

Beauty... is the shadow of God on the universe. ~Gabriela Mistral, Desolacíon

In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty. ~Christopher Morley

Flowers... are a proud assertion that a ray of beauty outvalues all the utilities of the world. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1844

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. ~John Muir

Melting fat

Mind body connections continually fascinate me. Our thoughts generate (or are) chemicals and greatly affect our physical beings. An embarrassing moment causes some to blush. An anxious thought releases stress hormones. A belief that something will help does help (i.e., the decrease of pain seen with placebo).

I just read in the Jan/Feb 2008 issue of Health that if I'm convinced I'll melt fat while exercising, that thought will help me lost fat faster, due to the mind-body connection.
"In a 2007 Harvard study, participants who believed they were getting a good workout showed greater reductions in body fat than subjects who performed the same activities but didn't feel like they were really exercising."

So, you betcha, when I exercise I'm going to visualize my fat melting away and tell myself I'm giving it my all. I'm into using any advantage I learn of, especially when it's as sweat-free as a thought.

With age

Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes
age comes alone.

So teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

When I grow up

I still haven't figured out what I want to be when I grow up. Unless I can just say that I wish for "wise." As far as a vocation goes though, I seem to have a tough time even dreaming up an ideal job. Or getting compensated monetarily for what I love to do.
I can identify some gifts and desires (thanks in part to some concise, easy-to use materials called LifeKeys) and have formulated a personal 'mission' statement [to nurture people to increasingly live well and love God]. But I'm still trying to live into Frederich Buechner's profound words

"The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness
and the world's deep hunger meet."

Though I'm embarrassed to not be farther along in my vocational decisions, maybe my calling involves more process than outcome.

Maybe for any of us what is most important is exploring that deep gladness? And being, moment-by-moment, attentive to the intersections of our deep gladness and the deep hunger among us?

What "forms" you?

Love forms us.
"There are two utterly different forms of religion: one believes that God will love me if I change, the other believes that God loves me so that I can change... Ideas inform us, but love forms us - in an intrinsic and lasting way." - Richard Rohr, The Enneagram

This basic behavior modification assertion rings true to me:
"If you reward someone for something that is good, he will give more and more in the direction of the ideal, but if you punish him for something that is bad, he will remain stagnant at the original level." - B.F. Skinner


I am motivated to do and be better when I get positive input, and quickly discouraged when I get negative. My default is to correct - self and others - so it's been a long and steep learning curve to aim to see the good, and look for what can be rewarded, which I'm convinced is what God does with us. Recently, my dear daughter orchestrated a precious gift of a scrapbook that contained many friends' and family's words of affirmation and stories about me (a thousand thanks to you who contributed!). I read those words of love from others, as from God too, and they make me want to be nobler and lovelier.
"...fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out." Romans 12:2 The Message translation

Love forms me. How 'bout you?

Really Livin'

"Those who discover these words live, really live, body and soul, they're bursting with health." -- about wisdom, in Proverbs 4, The Message translation

Some other words from Proverbs 4 that gave me hope early in my spiritual journey: "The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day."
I'm no longer quite so idealistic: the reality of everyday hasn't seemed 'ever brighter' and so I've experienced discouragement plenty. I've been feeling kinda discouraged lately.
But I consciously remind myself of those things for which I am thankful, and that bring me to greater love.
- Learning, and passing along what I learn
- Looking for beauty: there are so many things that please my senses and spirit such as color, scent, blossoms, and all of nature that points me to a majestic Creator
- Listening for God: who is enormously mysterious and evasive to me, but still fascinating to attend to
- Loving: being loved and sharing love

Lately I have been looking at enneagram material; I am deciding that my number is most likely a “ONE” which is the perfectionist. I recognize my tendency to push ever harder when under stress. The enneagram suggestion is to watch for the tendency to move to the negative side of a FOUR: feeling indignant because expectations are not met, turning anger inward, becoming depressed, losing trust in self and/or feeling unloved and unlovable. Rather, ONES can cultivate the positive side of a SEVEN of being fun-loving, spontaneous, imaginative, charming, happy.
“The special gift, or fruit of the spirit, that marks mature persons of any type is always the reverse of the root sin. The fruit of the spirit of the ONE is cheerful tranquility… Many integrated ONES say that three things help them to achieve this goal: prayer, love, and nature…That is why I have to see to it that I fall in love with somebody or something every day…without nature, without love, and without God, ONES can scarcely get to the space of cheerful serenity and patience, but remain aggressive idealists and ideologues who condemn others and demand that they improve themselves and be perfect by their lights.” P 54-55, The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective by Richard Rohr

That contains a good reminder for me: to be really livin' I do need to to be quietly communing in listening prayer, to be enjoying all things of nature, and to be focusing on those things I love.

What is really livin' for you?

A Happy New Year

I am thankful for a new year. A few quotes on one of my favorite subjects:

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others. -- Cicero
Gratitude is born in hearts that take time to count up past mercies. -- Charles Jefferson
Ingratitude is the essence of vileness. -- Kant
A noble person is mindful and thankful of the favors he receives from others. -- the Buddha
...in everything give thanks... -- I Thessalonians 5:18
Gratitude fills, discontent drains.