From dreaded to desirable

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes but in having new eyes."

– Marcel Proust

Due to a few events of this last quarter year or so I have tended toward feeling more sad than glad, and toward resisting rather than accepting.

So when I read a little blurb about the dreaded (presence of insects) being desirable (increasing plant health, taste, yields), it caught my attention. In brief: “According to a study out of Cornell University, in spite of their pesky attributes, without insects, plants could quickly lose their defense mechanisms along with desired traits like good taste and high yields.” [For more, see *“Fiends with benefits” below.]

This month’s 1^st Wednesday wellness email is a reminder – to me foremost, and to you too, if desired – to reframe what is most immediately dreaded, to possibly more desirable or welcome.

Consider these words in support:

“…the same action, has different consequences depending on whether it is done to move toward something we welcome (activating the brain’s approach system) or to avoid something negative (activating the brain’s avoidance system). In the maze experiment (see ** Maze below) aversion was triggered by something as minor as the sight of a cartoon owl. It led to reductions in exploratory, creative behaviors. This is dramatic evidence that the avoidance system can narrow the focus of our lives, even when triggered by a purely symbolic threat.” -from “The Mindful Way Through Depression”

 

I’ve talked of similar ideas before (on positivity –last month’s blog post and “Experience Expansive”; and on gratitude “Enjoy and influence”).

It seems I need reminders often, and a most recent opportunity to practice is around accepting this broken leg of mine. I find myself slipping into dreading: of the discomfort, of despising my body (bones aren’t supposed to break, in my little world) and of my “you’re so stupid” internal mantras. 

So I keep reading on mindfulness:

“If we can infuse our attention to our bodily experience with the approach qualities of interest, curiosity, warmth, and goodwill, then not only will we be in greater touch with sensations and feeling in each moment, we also will be directly countering any effects of aversion and avoidance that may be present...

As with so much of what we are learning to do, cultivating wholesome and kind intention and motivation is just as much a part of meditation practice as learning how to focus our attention in particular ways.” -from “The Mindful Way Through Depression”

It’s truly amazing that we have bodies that heal, right? So, I can thank God for mending bones (and even maybe cooperate by visualizing the fibers of collagen and fibrocartilage forming until new bone cells take over) and wear the walking boot as long as the ortho doc says (wearing a splint for a broken bone has been likened to engaging in spiritual disciplines: it is our small part in aiding the healing or transformation that God accomplishes).

If I let myself lean into wonder, I can conclude that it’s amazing that we even have life – with all of its sensations, thoughts, feelings, meanings. And for many of us, life includes much variety and privilege, so much.

In this month, with the thanksgiving holiday, may I suggest that it is a good time to approach, rather than avoid, whatever bit of life you can?

And on this day after the election, might I also offer a gentle call out to let fall away what is dreaded, and instead  dwell on whatever has the possibility of desirable, whatever is worth pursuing, whatever has the feel of hope, openness, or care in these moments?

As always, I wish for you goodness and all things desirable.  

“In everything give thanks…” - I Thessalonians 5:18

"What is to give light must endure burning."

-Viktor Frankl, author, neurologist and psychiatrist, Holocaust survivor (1905-1997)

 “I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, 

and grow brave by reflection.” 

- Thomas Paine

--
*Fiends with benefits  

From "The discovery files" - brief write-ups of projects funded by the national science foundation (NSF).

"Hug a bug? According to a study out ofCornell University, in spite of their pesky attributes, without insects, plants could quickly lose their defense mechanisms along with desired traits like good taste and high yields…

We usually think of evolution as an extremely slow process. This study of the evening primrose dramatically demonstrates how fast plants can evolve (in just three or four generations) when grown in insecticide-treated plots. With no moths bugging them, the plants stopped investing energy in their anti-insect defenses and the defenses disappeared within about five years.

Scientists think many plant traits originally evolved to battle against bugs. Some of these anti-insect defenses…are desirable to us humans and we wouldn't want to see those traits lost."

**Maze

Study overviewed in “The Mindful Way Through Depression” p 124.  

A cartoon mouse was shown trapped inside a picture of a maze, and the task for the college student subjects was to help the mouse find the way out. There were two versions of the task: 1) a positive, approach-oriented approach (a piece of Swiss cheese was lying outside the maze), the other was negative or avoidance-oriented (an owl hovered above the maze, ready to swoop down and capture the mouse in its talons).

The maze takes less than two minutes to complete, and all the students who took part in the experiment solved their maze. But the contrast in the aftereffects of working on different versions of the maze was striking. When the participants later took a test of creativity, those who had helped their mouse avoid the owl turned in scores that were 50% lower than the scores of students who had helped their mouse find the cheese. The state of mind elicited by attending to the owl had resulted in a lingering sense of caution, avoidance, and vigilance for things going wrong. This mind-state in turn weakened creativity, closed down options, and reduced the student’s flexibility in responding to the next task.

Friedmanand Forster, 2001  and see also an interesting blog post on ‘Mindfulness and Creativity”

Little things add up

"AIl good work is done the way ants do things, little by little." -Lafcadio Hearn 

 "I still get wildly enthusiastic about little things... I play with leaves. I skip down the street and run against the wind." -Leo Buscaglia 

I recently read an article summarizing a new study by researchers at the University of Copenhagen about overweight sedentary men who exercised 30 minutes per day, compared to men exercising 60 minutes and to men with no intentional exercise. The surprising result was that after 13 weeks, the 30-minute group lost the most weight: pounds lost = 0 for control group of no exercise, 5 pounds for the 60-minutes-per-day group, 7 pounds for 30-minutes-per-day group …“a total that, given the smaller number of calories that they were burning during exercise, represents a hefty 83 percent “bonus” beyond what would have been expected, says Mads Rosenkilde, a Ph.D. candidate at the University of Copenhagen who led the study.”

The article goes on to comment, about the men who exercised 30 minutes per day: “The men exercising half as much, however, seemed to grow energized and inspired. Their motion sensors show that, compared with the men in the other two groups, they were active in the time apart from exercise. “It looks like they were taking the stairs now, not the elevators, and just moving around more,” Mr. Rosenkilde says. “It was little things, but they add up.”

The idea that especially captures me is expressed in that last sentence. This month, in a desire to choose wellness, let's remind ourselves that little things add up.

For our physical self, we can do a little thing or two to move more or consume less: how about picking one thing to consistently do for all of October, such as maybe -- park farther away or go for a quick walk outside during your breaks, or possibly choose to eat just one rather than a few chocolate treats or to eat from a smaller plate at dinner (can you tell I'm aiming to personalize? hopefully you'll come up with better ideas for yourself! '-)

For our mental/emotional self, we can notice the beauty of the world around us - quite evident to us northerners as we take in fall colors - and we can choose to focus on what is positive, on any little thing that might be positive. Researcher and author Barbara Frederickson, in "Positivity" offers: "think about each of the ten different positive emotions... joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe, and last but not least, love... Think about the times when you felt each of these emotions clearly or deeply. What were the triggers of these nourishing states for you? When was the last time you felt each of these mind-opening states? Where were you? What were you doing? What was happening?"

 And then she suggests that we get concrete. "Pull together objects and mementos that create for you a heartfelt connection with each of the ten forms of positivity. Assemble these into a portfolio, a physical collection that you build...Make each emotion into a project...Invest your time and savor the task for a full week. A week on joy, a week on gratitude, and so on, until you reach a week on love..." Since negativity can pull us down so quickly, when needing or wanting to make a course correction toward positivity, consider "...physically getting your hands on one of your own unique positivity portfolios can make the difference. Reexamine its contents. Remind yourself of the good in your life."

[For the portfolios you can gather things such as photos, letters, quotes, or objects; a song or video clip; reminder of scent, taste or tactile sensation. For example, for my "inspiration" file, I might include - just to name a few things - a picture of an orange purple sunset, a pressed flower, and a few lines from Mary Oliver's 'New and Selected Poems, vol 1' --': "When it's over, I want to say all my life / I was a bride married to amazement. / I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms." (Thanks, Rebekah, for the reminder of the line: "a bride married to amazement" wow.)

For our spiritual self, we can remind ourselves of meaning in this day with little things like brief daily practices or readings. I'm presently doing a Yah-weh breath prayer upon waking each morning (hate to admit it, but I definitely sometimes need to remind myself that it is good to have breath of life; if interested, see the *Breath prayer below). Or other little things can help us remember the important: maybe try reading an email, some poetry, a quote or inspirational text; visiting a website or listening to a podcast that brings you back to deeper purpose (love, God, goodness, or however you name it).

Little things add up - and tending to the little things is what so much of life is made of. May you find goodness and wellness in the little things of each day this month! Always wishing for the best for you, Dee

"Never neglect the little things. Never skimp on that extra effort, that additional few minutes, that soft word of praise or thanks, that delivery of the very best that you can do.It does not matter what others think, it is of prime importance, however, what you think about you...You are special. Act it. Never neglect the little things." - Og Mandino 

“If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities." - Luke 16:10 (New Living Translation) 

*Breath prayer: Observe your breath. What does each in-breath feel like? What does each out-breath feel like? Witness each in-breath and out-breath with reverence. Each is you – alive – here and now. Each is God, God in you – present – here and now. Yah (on inhalation) -weh (on exhalation). Yah-weh. Breathe is life. to breath is to speak/live the name of God. [a little background, from Richard Rohr's youtube presentation: Often Breath, or spirit, or wind are designated by the same word in Scriptures. The Jewish tradition thought that to speak the name of God is vanity – to speak it is to think we understand it, and if we don’t know what we’re talking about it’s better to not talk about it – so elohim or adonai became more common… when the Hebrew name of God is written, yhvh, the eye fills in the appropriate vowels between the consonants: Yah-weh. To correctly pronounce the consonants don’t allow you to close your lips or click your tongue. Sacred name can not be spoken – only breathed – the attempt to imitate the sound of inhalation and exhalation… the first name any of us spoke from mother’s womb is the name of God, and it’ll be the last word we speak, it is that which universally surrounds us all, we can’t control it, it’s given, available, with us always in life. A prayer, maybe THE prayer. ] "In him we live and move and have our being." Acts 17:28

Repetition is not failure

I greatly appreciated these words from the Book of Awakening, by Mark Nepo, from the entry of Sept 23 "Repetition is not failure"

"Repetition is not failure. Ask the waves, ask the leaves, ask the wind."

 
"There is no expected pace for inner learning. What we need to learn comes when we need it, no matter how old or young, no matter how many times we have to start over, no matter how many times we have to learn the same lesson. We fall down as many times as we need to, to learn how to fall and get up. We fall in love as many times as we need to, to learn how to hold and be held. We misunderstand the many voices of truth as many times as we need to, to truly hear the choir of diversity that surrounds us. We suffer our pain as often as is necessary for us to learn how to break and how to heal. No one really likes this, of course, but we deal with our dislike in the same way, again and again, until we learn what we need to know about the humility of acceptance.

* Sit quietly and bring to mind one learning that keeps returning to you. It might be about giving yourself away repeatedly, or your struggle to trust, or about a particular way you hurt others repeatedly.
*Sit quietly, and as you breathe, try not to resist what this recurring piece of life is trying to teach you.
*Sit quietly, and as you breathe, see yourself as a shore and this recurring piece of life as a wave whose job is to make you smooth."
It reminds me of

- this mountain meditation: http://www.mindfulness-solution.com/DownloadMeditations.html 

- and this quote, that I read just this morning:
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"Not that I want to be a god or a hero. Just to change into a tree, grow for ages, not hurt anyone." -Czeslaw Milosz, poet and novelist (1911-2004)

Attending to attention span

"The moment one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself." - Henry Miller

"To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work.” - Mary Oliver

I have the great privilege of being Oma to three lovely grandchildren. One of the immense pleasures in being with them is watching them live and learn with freshness and enthusiasm. I desire - for them, for myself, for anyone - to foster that love of learning and ability to attend.

So an article on a child’s learning caught my attention, and in some ways also seems applicable to us older folks. In September when many have returned to school and formal learning, this first Wednesday wellness email offers an encouraging reminder to practice some self-regulation, and attend to our attention span.

Here’s a few highlights from “Simon Says Don’t Use Flashcards”:

· “…a growing body of research suggests that playing certain kinds of childhood games may be the best way to increase a child’s ability to do well in school… The key to games education is to start with a simple game and add increasingly complicated rules. For instance, Oregon researchers have developed a game called Head-to-Toes, which they use to assess preschool children’s development. Initially, the child copies the teacher’s movements, touching her head or toes. But later, the child is expected to do the opposite, touching her toes when the teacher touches her head. While the game may sound simple, it actually requires a high level of cognitive function for a preschooler, including focus and attention, working memory to remember rules, mental flexibility (to do the opposite) and self-control.”

Some study results:

· One study of 814 children between ages 3 and 6 shows that children who do well in Simon Says-like games do better in math and reading.

· A smaller study of 65 preschool children found that those who started the school year with low levels of self-control showed improvement after playing games in class, including a version of Red Light, Green Light.

· An Oregon State study reported on 430 children who were followed from preschool until age 25. The study, published online in early August in Early Childhood Research Quarterly, looked at several factors, including early reading and math skills, along with other cognitive skills, to see which were ultimately most influential in college success. It turns out that a child’s ability at age 4 to pay attention and complete a task, the very skills learned in game play, were the greatest predictors of whether he or she finished college by age 25.

ScienceDaily online highlights this Oregon State University study by saying “Young children who are able to pay attention and persist with a task have a 50 percent greater chance of completing college... gives compelling evidence that social and behavioral skills, such as paying attention, following directions and completing a task may be even more crucial than academic abilities."

Some ways to foster attention and self-regulation skills in children

Try movement and music games that ask children to stop, think, and then act: like the games explained in attached doc or Simon Says link above, or like dancing to music as suggested here (slow to slow, fast to fast, then change the rules and dance slowly to fast music, fast to slow music; sounds kind of fun!).

Some things we know

We know that some of the benefits touted above come simply by moving our bodies – ‘tis good for children to be encouraged toward gross motor play and time crawling or walking or running or dancing; and for us adults to get out of our chairs, away from our screens, and move ourselves to exercise (“Do groove move”) or take in the natural outdoors (“Greentime”).

We know how easy it is - for both kids (probably this applies to kids a little older than preschool) and adults - to let distractions carry us away, especially in this techy age: I’ll just do a quick check of my email, send off this text while I’m thinking of it, be entertained by this show) (“Digital distraction”).

Some questions, and an offering

Just how important is this paying attention, listening, completing tasks, and being persistent for us adults? I don’t have a research-supported answer at the ready; rather I invite you to ask yourself those questions.

I can, though, offer my personal observation of increased attentiveness and well-being when I pause, when I am quiet and listening and giving gentle attention to this present moment.

A suggestion for us adults

Meditation is a good tool for adults to aid in that pausing, and one way to give attention to attention span. A comprehensive randomized study (The Shamatha Project, led by neuroscientist Clifford Saron of the University of California, Davis) offers “powerful evidence that a regular meditation practice can

sharpen our perception,

promote a greater sense of well-being, and

encourage a more empathic response to others.

And, through alleviating stress, meditation may even play a role in countering the effects of aging.”

(This article, Just Breathe: Confirming Meditation’s Benefits, offers some historical research perspectives and fascinating present findings.)

[**For one simple breathing meditation practice, see below.]

Whether you play or pause this month, may your attention span increase. And may your focus be on and bring to you all that is good!

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**A simple breathing meditation: Sit comfortably, place feet flat on the floor, scoot back in the seat so that your lower back is well supported, straighten your spine upward gently. Rest your hands lightly on your lap, palms up. Or find any other position that makes you feel both alert and relaxed. Let your eyelids drift closed. If that feels awkward, gaze lightly at a spot on the floor in front of you, or at some common object, like a lit candle.

If all is going well, you’re already breathing. Feel the sensations of breath in the body. Notice: where do you feel your breath? Is it at your nostrils? Maybe you notice a slight coolness as the air passes by your nostrils upon inhalation? or warmth as you exhale? Do you feel the breath in your rib cage? In your belly? As you breath in your belly rises a little bit, as you breath out your belly falls a little bit.

Follow the breath cycle: as the lungs fill, then back down to lungs emptier.

Now just breathe normally – allow it to come in and out – no need to control the breath. No need to make your breath deep or patterned in any way. Just let it be. Continue to observe your breath. What does each in-breath feel like? What does each out-breath feel like?

Witness each in-breath and out-breath with reverence. Each is you – alive – here and now. Each is God in you – present – here and now. Each breath is good and God – here and now.

“The Spirit of God has made me, And the breath of the Almighty gives me life.” – Job 33:4

“Thus says God the LORD, Who created the heavens and stretched them out, Who spread out the earth and its offspring, Who gives breath to the people on it And spirit to those who walk in it, I am the Lord…” - Isaiah 42:5-6a

Commingle

"Our lives are like islands in the sea, or like trees in the forest. The maple and the pine may whisper to each other with their leaves...
But the trees also commingle their roots in the darkness underground, and the islands also hang together through the ocean's bottom."

- William James, psychologist and philosopher (1842-1910)

We are love

A great quote from today's "Richard's (Rohr) Daily Meditations":

We are love, and we are made for love,
and our natural abiding place is inside of divine love.
As St. Catherine of Genoa said, “My deepest me is God!”

Experience expansive

“To direct the mind towards the basic unity of all things and to divert it from the seizing of differences –

therein lies bliss.” – Tejo-bindu Upanishad

I’ve mostly lived life liking things rather defined and tidy: it’s either black or white, good or bad, right or wrong. In the past decade though, it seems numerous invitations to step into a different perspective have been presented to me. Rather than mostly finding delineation, I’m more aware of blurred edges, have more questions than answers, need to confront paradoxical truths, and am willing to consider “both/and” instead of this or that.

[Just for fun, each time you’re about to use the word “but” try substituting the word “and” - giving attention to how it feels or changes up your perspective. “But” usually negates, right? “And” usually includes. For example, “I want to take a vacation, but I’m too busy.” Is there a way to do both? To honor the desire to take a break along with recognizing the busyness? To make adjustments rather than discount the options?]

In the moments when I don’t cling to “this or that,” I’m finding freedom in holding more than one option (that some have named non-dualistic thinking, rather than a dualistic approach). It seems more expansive, it widens my horizons.

• Like while traveling last month: in experiencing unfamiliar people and locations and being faced with questioning status quo, I found opportunity to be more open, and to listen to and learn from others.
  

• Like while reading Barbara Frederickson’s book “Positivity”: I am reminded that yes, life holds plenty of negatives that I need not deny, AND I can cultivate what is positive. I’m learning that positive emotions (pleasing yet fleeting moments of joy, serenity, gratitude, amusement, interest, hope, self-assurance, inspiration, awe, love) change mindset and biochemistry that contribute to creative connections, oneness, and an openness of mind and heart. {This is not so surprising, but what does intrigue me is the degree of effect and scientific consistency of research findings. For more, follow this link to see a succinct overview of the benefits, or read **Positivity (below). Plus, this 6-minute Youtube video gives a good summary and links to other positivity presentations.

• Like while digesting an article on mind/body interactions, I discover that dissonance (such as, when facial expressions or posture depart from how we feel) contributes to expansive thinking, and provides an opportunity for creative, new insights.

Follow the article link or check out ** Dissonance and more (below).

[In the words below, I am fascinating again by the reality that truly our even unintentional physical actions or facial expressions influence the way we think, and that certainly emotions influence how we think!]

Before you read on (if you read on, that is), please accept my wishes for you to experience expansiveness in a variety of ways this summer: I hope for you to know and live openness, creativity, serenity, joy, gratitude, awe... all kinds of goodness and love.

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”

- Galatians 5:22-23a

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* Dissonance and more (from Mar 11, 2011 online Scientific American article)

“When facial expressions or posture depart from how we feel, we experience what two psychologists at Northwestern University, Li Huang and Adam Galinsky, call mind–body dissonance. And in a fascinating new paper, they show that such awkward clashes between mind and body can actually be useful: they help us think more expansively… Expansive thought can be regarded a kind of creativity, and an opportunity for new insights...

In a clever series of studies, they developed a way to get people’s facial expressions to depart from their emotional experiences. Participants were asked to either hold a pen between their teeth, forcing an unwitting smile, or to affix two golf tees in a particular position on their foreheads, unwittingly forcing an expression of sadness. While in these facial configurations, subjects were asked to recall happy and sad events or listen to happy and sad music.

The team found that people are more likely to consider a camel a vehicle (rather than merely an animal) in conditions where their expressions different from the emotions caused by music or autobiographical memories. In a further study they showed that this effect is not limited to facial expressions and emotions. They asked people to play either dominant or submissive roles in a game, while sitting in postural positions that have been shown in other research to reflect power or weakness. Once again, the dissonance between mind—feeling dominant in a game—and body—sitting in a constricted position—lead to more expansive thinking.

These curious findings have some significant implications. They back up a growing body of evidence that cognition is “embodied,” meaning that our physical actions directly influence the way we think. For example, Arthur Glenberg and Michael Kaschak have demonstrated that we have difficulty understanding sentences when we have to simultaneously perform actions that are in conflict with those sentences.

The new research also adds support to work showing that facial expressions influence our emotions. For example, Fritz Strack and collaborators have that people rate cartoons as more funny if they are forced to smile. Participants in the Huang and Galinsky studies reported that their facial configurations influenced their moods, confirming that emotions are intimately connected to the body. There is also a large body of evidence showing that emotions (affected by physical unpleasantries) influence how we think. For example, in another new study, Kendall Eskine shows that drinking bitter beverages can lead people to make more negative moral judgments.

Huang and Galinksy’s work contributes by showing that conflicts between the emotions created by the body and the emotions elicited by other sources, such as music and memory, do not just influence what we think, but how we think. Earlier research by Alice Isen has linked positive feelings to creative thinking styles, and this work shows that a special form of creativity—expansive thought—can be enhanced by emotional conflict.

The most exciting aspect of this work is that Huang and Galinksy find that mind–body dissonance has a positive payoff, even though it can feel unpleasant. There are conditions under which is it good for us, not just polite, to express emotions that differ from how we are feeling. For example, William James said that putting on a happy face helped him cope with debilitating depression. Perhaps expression therapy can join pharmacology in the battle against the blues. We can also increase empathy for others by mimicking their expressions, even when we don’t share their feelings.

Now Huang and Galinsky have discovered a new benefit to adopting expressions that don’t originate from within. Doing so leads us to think more flexibly: our categories become more inclusive. This may help with creative problem-solving, as well as social conflicts. For example, prejudice often derives from the use of stereotypes, but mind–body dissonance leads people to kick away the crutch of stereotypes and think expansively.”

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*“Positivity:

"First, when we experience a positive emotion, our vision literally expands, allowing us to make creative connections, see our oneness with others, and face our problems with clear eyes (a.k.a. the broaden effect). Second, as we make a habit of seeking out these pleasing states, we change and grow, becoming better versions of ourselves, developing the tools we need to make the most out of life (the build effect). And strikingly, these twin benefits of positive emotions obey a tipping point: When positive emotions outnumber negative emotions by at least 3 to 1, these benefits accrue, yet below this same ratio, they don't.”

"80% of Americans fall short of the ideal 3-to-1 positivity ratio. Click here to take Dr. Fredrickson’s 2-minute on-line quiz and see how you score."

[Sadly, when I did this after a weekend with my mom who is facing heart surgery and my sister who recently lost her husband, my ratio was 1.8 to 1, a far cry from 3 to 1... I have some redirecting to do...]

Removal of "what is"

After being away from my normal routine for a time, I have a renewed appreciation for the everyday. Removal of “what is” has a way of waking me and us.

One of the reasons I was away from my everyday happenings was for travel, and that change of pace included the gift of both providing some expansive experiences and of reminding me that my ‘ordinary’ moments are also good.

The other reason I was away with to be with family during a devastating loss – the sudden death of my brother-in-law – a situation that feels near impossible to see any gift in yet. So for July's wellness thought I don’t really have it in me to offer much by way of encouragement toward wellness (except possibly to reflect, as I alluded to in the first sentences, on what and who, in this moment, we might embrace as gift?). Rather, I offer these words from John O’Donohue’s “To Bless the Space Between Us” in honor of Brent.

On the Death of the Beloved

Though we need to weep your loss, / You dwell in that safe place in our hearts / Where no storm or night or pain can reach you.

Your love was like the dawn / Brightening over our lives, / Awakening beneath the dark / A further adventure of color.

The sound of your voice / Found for us / A new music / That brightened everything.

Whatever you enfolded in your gaze / Quickened in the joy of its being; / You placed smiles like flowers / On the altar of the heart. / Your mind always sparkled / With wonder at things.

Though your days here were brief, / Your spirit was alive, awake, complete.

We look toward each other no longer / From the old distance of our names; / Now you dwell inside the rhythm of breath, / As close to us as we are to ourselves.

Though we cannot see you with outward eyes, / We know our soul’s gaze is upon your face, / Smiling back at us from within everything / To which we bring our best refinement.

Let us not look for you only in memory, / Where we would grow lonely without you.

You would want us to find you in presence, / Beside us when beauty brightens, / When kindness glows / And music echoes eternal tones.

When orchids brighten the earth, / Darkest winter has turned to spring; / May this dark grief flower with hope / In every heart that loves you.

May you continue to inspire us: / To enter each day with a generous heart.

To serve the call of courage and love / Until we see your beautiful face again / In that land where there is no more separation, / Where all tears will be wiped from our mind, / And were we will never lose you again.

- John O’Donohue

May we all find our beloved passed-away ones “in presence, beside us when beauty brightens, when kindness glows” and allow them to inspire us to enter each day with a generous heart and serve the call of courage and love.