Tree-wavings

We all travel the milky way together, trees and men; 
but it never occurred to me until this storm-day, while swinging in the wind, that trees are travelers in the ordinary sense. 
They make many journeys, not extensive ones, it is true; but our own little journeys, away and back again, are only little more than tree-wavings -- many of them not so much. 

-John Muir, naturalist, explorer, and writer (1838-1914)

Try a little self-compassion

Educational psychologists from the University of Texas at Austin surveyed 104 couple and found that partners who are kinder to themselves and more forgiving turned out to be more authentic, caring, and supportive in relationships. 

Read more at this U. Texas news site about the 2012 study published in the journal Self and Identity.

Grand children

Children – and especially my grandchildren, since they’re the kiddos I am most around – remind me to be grateful for and take joy in simple pleasures of life. 

Addie: stepping, making it across a gap again and again

Gabe: running, moving both down and up an incline with abandon

Noah: moving through space, being chased and caught and tossed up and put down

So many metaphorical applications to living for me. 
 Thank you God for grand children.

Too many choices?

“The secret to happiness is low expectations.” – Barry Schwartz

Ne quid nimis. (In all things moderation.) – Publius Terentius Afer (Terence), c. 171 B.C.

I am finally looking to upgrade to a smart phone. I’m quite aware that I’m behind my contemporaries: according to Wikipedia, “As of July 18, 2013, 90 percent of global handset sales are attributed to the purchase of iPhone and Android smartphones.”

There are so many choices about phone and plans that it is overwhelming to me - someone who doesn’t enjoy learning techy details about OS, 4G LTE, GB/MB, platforms, and much more.  Ugh. I just want someone to tell me what to purchase... but wait, shouldn’t I be appreciating all these choices?

“As psychologists and economists study the issue, they are concluding that an overload of options may actually paralyze people or push them into decisions that are against their own best interest,” says a 2010 nytimes.com article.  

Consider this now “famous” (among those who research choice, that is) jam study done in 1995  that was conducted by Sheena Iyengar, a professor of business at Columbia University and author of “The Art of Choosing.”

In a California gourmet market, then graduate student Iyengar and her research assistants set up a booth of samples of Wilkin & Sons jams. Every few hours, they switched from offering a selection of 24 jams to a group of six jams. On average, customers tasted two jams, regardless of the size of the assortment, and each one received a coupon good for $1 off one Wilkin & Sons jam.

What’s your guess on the numbers of those who --

stopped to sample? 60% of customers were drawn to the large 24-jam assortment, while only 40% stopped by the small one;

bought a jar? 3% of those confronted with the 24 jams purchased a jar, but 30% of the people who had sampled from the small assortment bought.

Sheena Iyengar, in a HealthCare Choices talk concludes, “When people have more choices than they can handle, they chose not to choose and stay with status quo, or often make errors if they do choose.”

Research also shows that an excess of choices often leads us to be less, not more, satisfied once we actually decide.

Barry Schwartz, a professor of psychology at Swarthmore College and author of “The Paradox of Choice” proposes that the more options there are, the easier it is to

 - regret your choice (anything at all that is disappointing about the option that you chose), and

 - escalate expectations (we may actually buy a better product among the more choices, but still feel worse as we wonder “maybe I didn’t find the perfect one?”). For more see his TED talk.

The researchers on choice assert that some choice is certainly better than none, yet it doesn’t follow that more choice is better than some choice, and seems apparent that excessive choice (a rather ridiculous problem for affluent populations) is worse than some choice.

So, here's a few suggestions to avoid choice overload--

Weigh the cost of searching for the absolute best option. Even though we now have the capacity, via the Internet, to research choices endlessly, it doesn’t mean we have to or should. Maybe limit ourselves to looking at 3 to 4 websites rather than a dozen or more. As Benjamin Scheibehenne, a research scientist at the University of Basel in Switzerland, said: “It is not clear that more choice gives you more freedom. It could decrease our freedom if we spend so much time trying to make choices.”

Become more comfortable with the idea of “good enough.” Seeking the perfect choice, even in big decisions like colleges, “is a recipe for misery,” says Professor Barry Schwartz.

Know when to ask for advice or turn over choice to someone trusted.

Appreciate what there is in this present moment. Whether making a choice about consuming or not, we are all more well when we are grateful for what we have.

As we start a new academic year and enter into fall, I hope for you to experience some choice rather than excessive choice. And I wish for you to find calming quiet and deep satisfaction in the midst of either much or sparse.

Keep your lives free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, for God has said, "I will never leave you or abandon you." – Hebrews 13:5 International Standard Version

“A great source of calamity lies in regret and anticipation; therefore a person is wise who thinks of the present alone, regardless of the past or future.” -Attributed to Oliver Goldsmith 1730-1774