“It's not how much we
give but how much love we put into giving.” ― Mother Teresa
“I slept and I dreamed that life is all joy. I
woke and I saw that life is all service. I served and I saw that service is
joy.” ― Kahlil Gibran
“’Tis the season to be jolly, falalalala”….
Hmmm,
I tend to
not feel terribly jolly most Decembers. My to-do list too often outlasts
my
energy. Many of us buy gifts during this holiday season, and some
of us stress about the gift-giving -- I like to give gifts, really I do,
but I pressure myself to find the
most-fitting gift or best value. Thus, I, most of all, need the
reminders offered
in this month’s 1st wellness email (the first two are from this article).
REMINDER #1 – Giving
is good for your health.
“Research suggests there may be a biochemical explanation
for the positive emotions associated with doing good. In a recent study published (2006, not so recent anymore; Dee’s
editorial note) in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science,
participants’ brains were monitored by MRI scans while
they made decisions about donating part of their research payment to charitable
organizations. When participants chose to donate money, the brain’s mesolimbic
system was activated, the same part of the brain that’s activated in response
to monetary rewards, sex, and other positive stimuli. Choosing to donate also
activated the brain’s subgenual area, the part of the brain that produces
feel-good chemicals, like oxytocin, that promote social bonding.”
Paul Wink and Michele Dillon found a similar pattern when
they looked at data collected every decade on a group of San Francisco Bay Area
residents beginning in the 1930s. Those who volunteered and engaged in other
forms of giving when they were adolescents were much less likely to become
depressed, even as they got older.
“For it is in giving
that we receive.” ― St. Francis of Assisi
REMINDER #2 – Giving
spreads good cheer – to others and to ourselves.
“When you’re experiencing compassion, benevolence, and
kindness, they push aside the negative emotions…Even better, feeling good and
doing good can combine to create a positive feedback loop, where doing good
helps us to feel good and feeling good also makes us more likely to do good..
“Numerous studies have found that happy people are more
helpful," says Dr. David Myers, a social psychologist
at Hope College and author of The Pursuit of Happiness. “Those who've
just found money in a phone booth are more likely to help a passerby with
dropped papers. Those who feel successful are more likely to volunteer as a
tutor."
“We make a living by
what we get. We make a life by what we give.” ― Winston S. Churchill
REMINDER #3 – Giving happens
most easily from a place of abundance.
Having the resources internally
- to extend kindness to and have compassion toward others - starts with kindness
and compassion toward yourself.
Lately I’ve been experimenting with a few
questions that are helping me foster some loving attention toward my own self:
*Is there any important feeling inside me right now that
needs listening to? (anything that is keeping me from feeling free or peaceful or
good?)
*Is it okay to bring some loving care to that place? (to that
emotion, feeling, or body sensation)
“Compassionate toward
yourself, you reconcile all beings in the world.” – Lao-Tzu
“Giving yourself some
loving attention is not selfish. It is sensible. If you feel loved and
cherished--even if it is only by yourself--then you will have more love to give
to others, too.” ― Penelope Quest, Reiki for Life: A Complete Guide to Reiki
Practice
May this season be full of giving and receiving, full of the good gifts
of love and compassionate: from others, to others, to yourself.
It is more blessed to give that to receive. - Acts 20:35
An extra: See below (can follow this link for source) for
5 easy things you can do to help others—and yourself:
- Volunteer. Research shows that people who volunteer just two hours per week (about 100 hours per year) have better physical health and are less depressed. To find volunteer opportunities in your area, visit Volunteer Match or contact your local church or school.
- Informally offer help to family, friends, and neighbors. Lend a needed tool, bring dinner to someone who’s sick, feed pets for neighbors on vacation, or offer a ride to someone who lacks a car.
- Donate. It doesn’t have to be a lot of money. Toss change into coffee cans at cash registers or support local organizations by buying a raffle ticket. Look for opportunities to give within your means. You’ll help make the world a better place and make yourself feel better too.
- Listen. Sometimes all others need is someone to lend a sympathetic ear to make them feel heard, cared for and loved.
- Make other people (and yourself) smile. The easiest way to make other people happy is to act happy yourself, even if it’s not how you feel. “Sometimes we can act ourselves into a way of thinking,” says Myers. “So like the old song says, 'Put on a happy face.' Talk as if you have self-esteem and are outgoing and optimistic. Going through the motions can awaken the emotions.”
“You can give without
loving, but you cannot love without giving.” ― Amy Wilson-Carmichael
