“Feel, he told
himself, feel, feel, feel. Even if what you feel is pain, only let yourself
feel.” ― P.D. James,
The Children of Men
Soul without words.
That’s the meaning of the word alexithymia coined by Peter
Sifneos in 1973 [from the Greek thumos (soul, as the seat of emotion, feeling,
and thought), lexis (speech), and “a” (an alpha privative indicating no or without)].
I had never heard of the word alexithymia before reading about
it in the July/August 2014 issue of Scientific American Mind, but certainly was and am
acquainted with the idea of having difficulty in naming feelings (I am NO master at this feelings game). Alexithymia is a personality trait that’s marked
by limited internal thinking and an inability to recognize internal emotional
states; and people with this trait are at a higher risk for mood disorders,
interpersonal problems and health problems.
Approximately 10% of the population possesses the more
extreme characteristics of this inability to differentiate and describe
emotions to themselves or others, with the rest of us falling somewhere along a
continuum.
The Scientific American Mind article reports,
“some people honestly might be disadvantaged, on a neurological level, in understanding and communicating emotions.”
“some people honestly might be disadvantaged, on a neurological level, in understanding and communicating emotions.”
“Brain research is revealing that the neural processes
supporting emotional awareness overlap with pathways that create awareness of
inner states more broadly, such as stress and fatigue.”
A 2013 study by researchers at three universities in Germany
found that individuals with alexithymia have less gray matter in the anterior
insula, which helps to govern emotions as well as interoceptions (perceptions
of one’s internal bodily states, such as hunger pangs or an accelerating
heatbeat).
Before offering some particulars of alexithymia’s
associations to interpersonal problems and medical and psychiatric disorders (if
you’re curious you can read more below) I want to first say that there is good news.
Emerging therapies show promise for helping people - that would be for any of us - develop
an awareness of their emotions, enrich their inner lives, and improve their overall
well-being.
Maybe we could explore or improve in some of these areas?
A few suggestions
--
· * Offer yourself a supportive approach (and/or
find friends, counselor, spiritual advisor for support) and emphasize your strengths· * Improve your social skills: here’s one spot for ideas, but a google search will give many more
· * Pay attention to your body: be intentionally aware of and responsive to physical sensations and emotions
Practice progressive
muscle relaxation to learn difference between feeling tense versus
relaxed/released: to try out, click this for a verbal how to, and this for a video
Be mindful of
body cues in everyday moments (such as tense shoulders, constricted breathing
typical of anxiety)
Revisit a feelings list
and practice naming your feelings and identifying what physiological sensations
accompany an emotion; such as “I had a lump in my throat,” “butterflies in my
stomach,” “my heart dropped” or “I was steaming”
“If you keep your
emotions locked in a box, then when you want to open it one day you'll find
that they're gone.” ― M.D. Arnold
Not becoming more aware of emotions has some rough
implications for numerous aspects of life: see the alexithymia wikipedia page
(with references and links) for more info and research citations.
Here’s some
of what alexithymia has been linked with:
*interpersonal problems
-
tendency to avoid emotionally close relationships:
cold/distant, or non-assertive social functioning [35] )- decrease in relationship satisfaction between couples [38]
- behaving less altruistically toward others: less distress at seeing others in pain [2]
*medical and psychiatric illness
-
there are links to certain personality disorders,[54] substance
use disorders,[55][56]
some anxiety disorders,[57]
and sexual disorders,[58]
as well as certain physical illnesses, such as hypertension,[59]
inflammatory bowel disease,[60]
and functional dyspepsia.[61]
- with disorders such as migraine headaches, lower back pain, irritable bowel syndrome, asthma, nausea, allergies, and fibromyalgia.[62]
- possible prolonged elevations of the autonomic nervous system (ANS) and neuroendocrine systems which can lead to somatic diseases.[62]
Why is some of this so?
Hans Thulesius, physician at Lund University in Sweden, proposes that
individuals who struggle to discern their feelings may fail to regulate stress
effectively by being slow to act when the body’s fight or flight response kicks
in, causing the body to maintain an elevated stress response leading the body
exhausted and vulnerable to sickness.
“Indeed, several studies have found that the diseases most
closely associated with alexithymia – coronary heart disease, diabetes hypertension
and certain gastrointestinal disorders – also involve lower heart rate variability.
This symptom is a marker of an unchecked stress response.” SA Mind p. 70
“Just like children,
emotions heal when they are heard and validated.”
― Jill Bolte Taylor, My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey
― Jill Bolte Taylor, My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey
Remember please: emotional awareness promotes healthier
minds, bodies, and relationships. And most all of us can truly grow in this
area, benefiting ourselves primarily and certainly also those around us.
How about, right now, filling in this blank with a feeling
word: “I feel ______.” And how about being
kind to yourself even if you’re not terribly happy about the way you feel? You
can think what you think and feel what you feel.
May you have words for your soul's being and feel all your feelings this month. May these summer days include many welcome feelings, much joy!
"You desire truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart." Psalm 51:6
“All the knowledge I
possess everyone else can acquire, but my heart is all my own.” ― Johann
Wolfgang von Goethe
