If you aren't good at loving yourself, you
will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you'll resent the time
and energy you give another person that you aren't even giving to
yourself." Barbara De Angelis
I worked awhile on a wellness message for this month on self-compassion and parenting.
So, in compassion to myself, rather than recreate it all (it takes many many minutes to attempt to digest some of the research), I am sending you a greatly abbreviated version of the original message.
In brief, my gentle nudge for this month is to take a look at --
- a 4-minute youtube video: listen to a great summary of mindfulness and hear some encouragement to not judge what you judge.
Jon Kabat-Zinn Defines Mindfulness
- this research - which includes discussion of these five dimensions (selected based on a review of the mindfulness
and parenting literature) that can make a difference in your parenting:
a) emotional awareness of self and child;
b) self-regulation in the parenting relationship;
c) non-judgmental acceptance of self and child;
d) listening with full attention, and
e) compassion for self and child.
As the years go by, I am more and more convinced that - for each of us - it all starts with me. If I can be kind and compassionate to myself then I can extend it to the other: my kids, friends, colleagues, spouse, stranger.
With Valentine's Day coming up, maybe, along with extending love and kindness to another, you might also do the same for yourself?
a) emotional awareness of self and child;
b) self-regulation in the parenting relationship;
c) non-judgmental acceptance of self and child;
d) listening with full attention, and
e) compassion for self and child.
As the years go by, I am more and more convinced that - for each of us - it all starts with me. If I can be kind and compassionate to myself then I can extend it to the other: my kids, friends, colleagues, spouse, stranger.
With Valentine's Day coming up, maybe, along with extending love and kindness to another, you might also do the same for yourself?
May you experience much lovingkindness and compassion this month, and may it contribute greatly to your wellness.
"If, however, you are fulfilling the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well."
- James 2:8
- James 2:8
Self-Compassion
Walking down the alley,
Glimpsing of the passerby; the
Stranger that looks like
Me.
No, it is me.
Passed by thousands
Times before,
Un-noticed,
Un-spoken to,
Un-loved.
Ignored for another.
*
But this time I notice,
I greet myself,
I invite me
To a cup of tea,
A stroll upon the
Redolent shore of life - together,
Holding hands,
Hugging,
Loving
The one inside my skin.
- Ibrahim Ibn Salma
Glimpsing of the passerby; the
Stranger that looks like
Me.
No, it is me.
Passed by thousands
Times before,
Un-noticed,
Un-spoken to,
Un-loved.
Ignored for another.
*
But this time I notice,
I greet myself,
I invite me
To a cup of tea,
A stroll upon the
Redolent shore of life - together,
Holding hands,
Hugging,
Loving
The one inside my skin.
- Ibrahim Ibn Salma
