Anxiety: there's an app for that

“Anxiety's like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you very far.” 

― Jodi Picoult, Sing You Home

Today is the last day of classes for the students at the college where I work. Up next is finals, and for many that induces some anxiety.

This nytimes well blog article states, “Anxiety has now surpassed depression as the most common mental health diagnosis among college students…Nearly one in six college students has been diagnosed with or treated for anxiety within the last 12 months, according to the annual national survey by the American College Health Association.”

Interestingly, the article also mentions a new app for treating anxiety, called TAO (Therapist Assisted Online). (Because I assist faculty in getting funding from the National Science Foundation (NSF), it pleases me that the technology/product is based on work supported by NSF#1448967!)

TAO provides an array of tools for online psychotherapy including educational materials, homework on mobile devices, video conferencing with a therapist, and weekly monitoring of progress. If you wonder what they offer in this app, the TAO website has a demo of Session 1: Program overview here. The online treatment program is from 7-10 weeks.


“Preliminary evidence from a year-long pilot study at the University of Florida suggests that TAO can deliver treatment outcomes that compare to or even exceed traditional face-to-face counseling.”


It’s not just tests that bring on anxiety, or just college students that struggle with it. Most of us, including me and some of my loved ones, wrestle with some worry or anxiety at least occasionally.

“Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.” ― Charles H. Spurgeon

A few suggestions to manage and minimize your anxiety --


15 steps you can take every day
Take a deep breath.
Get active.
Sleep well.
Challenge an anxious thought.
Say an encouraging statement.
Stay connected to others.
Avoid caffeine.
Avoid mind-altering substances.
Do something you enjoy.
Take a break.
Problem-solve.
Pick up a book.
Engage in calming practices.
Contact a therapist.
Accept your anxiety.

May you find relief from anxiety in this early summer. May you be calm, joyful, at ease. May you be well.

Don't worry about anything, but in all your prayers ask God for what you need, always asking God with a thankful heart. And God's peace, which is far beyond human understanding, will keep your hearts and minds safe in union with Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7

"If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath."

- Amit Ray, Om Chanting and Meditation

Walk Slowly (Danna Faulds)

It only takes a reminder to breathe,

a moment to be still, and just like that,

something in me settles, softens, makes

space for imperfection. The harsh voice

of judgment drops to a whisper and I

remember again that life isn't a relay

race; that we will all cross the finish

line; that waking up to life is what we

were born for. As many times as I

forget, catch myself charging forward

without even knowing where I'm going,

that many times I can make the choice

to stop, to breathe, and be, and walk

slowly into the mystery.

Posing for presence

Let your body tell you you’re powerful and deserving, 

and you become more present, enthusiastic, and authentically yourself.”

– Amy Cuddy

I recently watched this TED talk – 2nd in a list of 20 most popular TED talks – where social psychologist and Harvard Business School prof Amy Cuddy describes research that point to these assertions:

* non-verbals (aka body language) govern how we feel about ourselves,
* our bodies shape/change our minds,
* behavior can change our outcomes, and
* tiny tweaks can make a big difference.

“Be happy NOW. This moment is all you’ve got.” 

― Elizabeth Grace Saunders

The research

Cuddy referred to this 2010 research report published in Psychological Science, with Dana R. Carny and Andy J. Yap, that compared participants who spent two minutes in a room alone dong high-power poses (expansive with open limbs, such as feet on the desk with fingers lace behind the head) with participants that did low-power poses (contracted with closed limbs, such as arms crossed across body; see article for pictures).

Some results

high-power poses caused an increase in testosterone by about 20% compared with low-power poses
high-power poses caused a decrease in cortisol by about 25% compared with low-power poses
high-power posers were more likely than low-power posers to focus on rewards
high-power posers reported feeling significantly more “powerful” and “in charge”

Fascinating as all this is, along with other research demonstrating that body movement affects our emotions and actions (if interested, see the * at end of this message), what most interests me is the connection of power with being present.


“Ultimately, Cuddy's research suggests that when people feel personally powerful, they become more present: better connected with their own thoughts and feelings, which helps them to better connect with the thoughts and feelings of others. Presence -- characterized by enthusiasm, confidence, engagement, and the ability to connect with and even captivate an audience -- boosts people's performance in a wide range of domains.”  -quote from Cuddy’s Faculty Profile page


So maybe we give this a try? (Likely I will be doing my power pose in a private location!) Maybe pose (picture wonder woman, or wonder man J) to be more fully present to our best self, our truest self?

One last phrase as a take-away: not long ago I heard Fr. Greg Boyle talk on an OnBeing podcast and he mentioned a phrase that I also want to live into -- Now. Here. This.

May we enjoy the now, the here, the this.

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.” 

― Amit Ray, Om Chanting and Meditation

May we enjoy breath, and enjoy the beauty of people and of nature. May the spring unfolding be a metaphor for our own unfolding. May we be powerful and present this month and each month.

“The divine is in the present and you must be present to experience it. When you vacate the present and recede into your mind, allowing worries or work to remove you from the moment, you leave the plain upon which the divine dwells. ― L.M. Browning, Seasons of Contemplation: A Book of Midnight Meditations

"Now we are all here in the presence of God to listen…” – Acts 10:33

* Words from the 2010 research report on body effecting emotions, thoughts, and behavior --

“In research on embodied cognition, some evidence suggests that bodily movements, such as facial displays, can affect emotional states. For example, unobtrusive contraction of the “smile muscle” (i.e., the zygomaticus major) increases enjoyment (Strack, Martin, Stepper, 1988), the head tilting upward induces pride (Stepper & Strack, 1993), and hunched postures (as opposed to upright postures) elicit more depressed feelings (Riskind & Gotay, 1982). Approach-oriented behaviors, such as touching, pulling, or nodding “yes,” increase preference for objects, people, and persuasive messages (e.g., Briñol & Petty, 2003; Chen & Bargh, 1999; Wegner, Lane, & Dimitri, 1994), and fist clenching increases men’s self-ratings on power-related traits (Schubert & Koole, 2009).”

Want awe?

“The most beautiful emotion we can experience is the mysterious. It is the power of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead.” 
- Albert Einstein

Spring is one of my favorite seasons. I am mystified by the spring bulb leaves poking up resulting in delightful blossoms, by the budding and unfolding of leaves on bushes and trees, by the greening of grass, by the quick growth of the perennial hollyhock deep green leaves and catmint clumps bordering the south side of my house.

In short, I am in awe of the miracle of new growth and new beginnings.

“Anything can happen, and anything does.” 

― Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

Turns out that awe is an especially good-for-you emotion.


**Awe contributes to BETTER HEALTH: less chronic inflammation in the body means less achiness, less susceptibility to disease, less acceleration of aging.

The study. In the research study published in January 2015 in the journal Emotion, and reported on in this Well Column, researchers - from the University of California, Berkeley, and other institutions - tested 94 college freshmen first, and then another 119 for a more specific look at discrete positive emotions.

The 94 students filled out questionaires on various positive and negative emotions during the past month. They supplied saliva samples that the researchers analyzed for interleukin-6 (IL-6), a cytokine (chemical-signaling molecule) known to promote inflammation throughout the body. Inflammation is tied to poor health, so the researchers hypothesized that low levels of IL-6 might signal good health.

The 119 students completed questionaires about their normal disposition and the extent to which they had recently felt seven specific emotions: awe, amusement, compassion, contentment, joy, love, and pride. They also provided saliva samples that were analyzed for IL-6.

What the study found. In the first (94 students) study those who experienced more positive emotions generally had lower levels of IL-6 than classmates whose moods were more sour.

In the second (119 students) study, happy moods were collectively still associated with low IL-6 levels, with the strongest correlation to awe. In the researchers’ words, “We also explored the relationship between discrete positive emotions and IL-6 levels, finding that awe, measured in two different ways, was the strongest predictor of lower levels of proinflammatory cytokines.”

Senior author of the study and faculty director of the greater Good Science Center at Berkeley, Dacher Keltner, says that in general, a primary attribute of an awe-inspiring event is that it “will pass the goose-bumps test.”

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” - W.B. Yeats

**Awe calls forth COOPERATION AND KINDNESS.

This article by Dacher Keltner mentions research findings that awe even leads people to cooperate, share resources, and sacrifice for others; it calls forth a less narcissistic self, enabling greater kindness toward others.

Want AWE?

Do you, like me, want to be intentional about fostering a feeling of awe more often? Awe-eliciting stimuli expands the observer’s usual frame of reference; awe is a perception of greatness outside of oneself, an awareness of vastness. It is a pausing, and an opening of your mind to the things not understood.

Following are a few ideas to cultivate awe:

• Enjoy the beauty of nature: watch the sunset in its array of colors, notice the spring unfolding in all its glory, listen to thunder with wonder, look at the night sky with its marvel of lights
• Go to an art museum and appreciate the skill of the artist
• Listen to and let yourself be moved by music
• Notice the epiphanies that come: good ideas, new discoveries, little surprises
• Experience the sacred during prayer or meditation
• Be compassionate and receive compassion: notice kind actions
• Take note of anyone standing up to injustice
• Appreciate accomplishments of others and your own: isn’t it a miracle that we are born, that we grow and heal, that we can do, that we can think, that we can remember?

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well.” –Psalm 139:14

On the sidewalk quotes in our town I came across one that said, “Don’t be afraid to let your mind w_nder.” I couldn’t tell immediately if it was an “a” or an “o” after the “w.” Upon studying it, I determined the word was “wander” but I walked away wishing it said, “let your mind wonder.”

Wonder, synonymous with awe, is a grand idea.

Let your mind wonder. Be in awe.

Yes, that’s my wish and blessing for this month. May you wonder. May you be in awe. May you be well.

“All this he saw, for one moment breathless and intense, vivid on the morning sky; and still, as he looked, he lived; and still, as he lived, he wondered.” 

― Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows

“The answer must be, I think, that beauty and grace are performed whether or not we will or sense them. The least we can do is try to be there.” 

― Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

Look and See
This morning, at waterside, a sparrow flew
to a water rock and landed, by error, on the back
of an eider duck; lightly it fluttered off, amused.
The duck, too, was not provoked, but, you might say, was
laughing.

This afternoon a gull sailing over
our house was casually scratching
its stomach of white feathers with one
pink foot as it flew.

Oh Lord, how shining and festive is your gift to us, if we
only look, and see.

- Mary Oliver, Why I Wake Early

“The might of your awesome deeds shall be proclaimed, and I will declare your greatness.”

– Psalm 145: 6

A few good germs

“But germs are the most common snowflake starters and lie at the heart of 85 percent of all flakes.
So next time you gaze at a lovely snowstorm, inform your favorite germophobe or hypochondriac that living bacteria sit shivering in most of those untold billions of flakes.”

– Bob Berman

I have never much minded washing dishes by hand (plus time in the water helps clean the dirt so often accumulating under my fingernails), so the following study – about dish washing and allergies and germs – is an easy one for me to glob onto.

A new study, published in the journal Pediatrics, suggests that parents who wash their dishes by hand, rather than in a dishwashing machine, may unwittingly lower the likelihood that their children will develop allergies.

The researchers followed 1,029 children aged 7 to 8 years old, and their parents, living in two areas of Sweden.

This nytimes wellness blog summarizes: “They investigated behaviors…Then they examined whether the children had allergic conditions including asthma, eczema, and hay fever. Ultimately, the researchers found that children raised in households where dishes were always washed by hand had half the rate of allergies. They also discovered that this relationship was amplified if the children also ate fermented foods or if the families bought food directly from local farms.”

This is only an association, not causation. But the speculation – of Bill Hesselmar, an assistant professor at the University of Gothenburg and lead author of the study – is that some behaviors expose children to innocuous bacteria, which can help strengthen their immune systems. In their words, from the Pediatrics Article Abstract, “We speculate that a less-efficient dishwashing method may induce tolerance via increased microbial exposure.”

A take away

Exposure to some microorganisms can be good for us, and is not to be avoided at all costs. In fact, “germs” of the good variety or in the best combination (ecosystems with many species are generally more resistant than systems with few species), are even a part of a therapy to counteract some bacteria gone bad; such as when a single species of bacteria becomes too prominent and causes inflammation in the gut as can happen after taking an antibiotic. This bizarre-but-fascinating therapy replenishes the gut microbiome through Fecal Microbiota Transplantation (FMT), or in more common vernacular, through “poop transplants.”

Are you intrigued? Follow this link for a great 3-minute video that is both informative and funny (with a “don’t try this at home” thrown in, and an ending quip of “From your C diff to recoup, choose someone else’s poop”) or see this article (thanks, Charlotte, for passing it along).

"I’m a dirt person. I trust the dirt." – Eartha Kitt

Back to a little dirt. Connecting to the natural, including many of the microorganisms in our world, can be a grand choice (see Dee’s Dirt blog posts “Eat dirt” and “About germs).

Maybe – when we finally have a thaw in these northern climes – we can pick up some dirt and appreciate the microorganisms residing there?

May you find opportunity this month to wash a few dishes by hand and be exposed to a few good germs.

I am wishing, along with you, for spring and thaw and no allergies and all sorts of good health.

 “…you started out as dirt, you’ll end up dirt.”

– Genesis 3:19b – The Message paraphrase

 “The soil is the great connector of lives, the source and destination of all. It is the healer and restorer and resurrector, by which disease passes into health, age into youth, death into life. Without proper care for it we can have no community, because without proper care for it we can have no life.”  ― Wendell Berry, The Unsettling of America: Culture and Agriculture

A VISION

If we will have the wisdom to survive,
To stand like slow growing trees on a ruined place,
Renewing, enriching it,
If we will make our seasons welcome here,
Asking not too much of earth or heaven,
Then a long time after we are dead
The lives our lives prepare will live here,
Their houses strongly placed upon the valley sides,
Fields and gardens rich in the windows.
The river will run clear as we never know it,
And over it the birdsong like a canopy.
On the levels of the hills will be green meadows,
Stock bells in noon shade
On the steeps where greed and ignorance cut down the old forest,
An old forest will stand, its rich leaf-fall drifting on its roots.
The veins of forgotten springs will have opened.
Families will be singing in the fields.
In their voices they will hear a music risen out of the ground.
They will take nothing out of the ground they will not return,
Whatever the grief at parting,
Memory, native to this valley, will spread over it like a grove,
And memory will grow into legend,
Legend into song, song into sacrament.
The abundance of this place, the songs of its people and its birds,
Will be health and wisdom and indwelling light.
This is no paradisal dream. Its hardship is its possibility.

Wendell Berry

Self-compassion

If you aren't good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you'll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren't even giving to yourself."  Barbara De Angelis

I worked awhile on a wellness message for this month on self-compassion and parenting.

When mostly done I accidentally deleted it! (I was stupidly - wait, I need rather, in kindness to self, to say "unfortunately" - constructing the message in an email instead of a Word doc.)

So, in compassion to myself, rather than recreate it all (it takes many many minutes to attempt to digest some of the research), I am sending you a greatly abbreviated version of the original message.

In brief, my gentle nudge for this month is to take a look at --

- a 4-minute youtube video: listen to a great summary of mindfulness and hear some encouragement to not judge what you judge.
Jon Kabat-Zinn Defines Mindfulness

 - this research - which includes discussion of these five dimensions (selected based on a review of the mindfulness and parenting literature) that can make a difference in your parenting:
a) emotional awareness of self and child;
b) self-regulation in the parenting relationship;
c) non-judgmental acceptance of self and child;
d) listening with full attention, and
e) compassion for self and child.

As the years go by, I am more and more convinced that - for each of us - it all starts with me. If I can be kind and compassionate to myself then I can extend it to the other: my kids, friends, colleagues, spouse, stranger.
With Valentine's Day coming up, maybe, along with extending love and kindness to another, you might also do the same for yourself?

May you experience much lovingkindness and compassion this month, and may it contribute greatly to your wellness.

"If, however, you are fulfilling the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well."
 - James 2:8

Self-Compassion

Walking down the alley,
Glimpsing of the passerby; the
Stranger that looks like
Me.

No, it is me.

Passed by thousands
Times before,

Un-noticed,
Un-spoken to,
Un-loved.

Ignored for another.
*
But this time I notice,
I greet myself,
I invite me
To a cup of tea,
A stroll upon the
Redolent shore of life - together,
Holding hands,
Hugging,
Loving
The one inside my skin.
   - Ibrahim Ibn Salma

Starting again: exercise

You are never too old to set another goal
or to dream a new dream.
- C. S. Lewis

The older I get the less I tend to make new year's resolutions. Still, upon entry into another year, I appreciate the opportunity to start again.

Healthy choices are always an area where I need to start again - the basic "eat less, exercise more" thing just isn't something I fall into easily. Rather, I  need to make intentions to choose to move more and munch less.

“Exercise is wonderful," said Louis. "I could sit and watch it all day.”
― Larry Niven, Ringworld

This month's 1st Wednesday email offers gentle encouragement toward starting again in the area of exercise. Below you'll read a few studies that might dispel a myth or two and that just might give us a slight advantage in our exercise regimes.

Brief is good
This article on 2014 fitness trends relays that in a study from May, scientists found that three brief sessions per day of interval-style exercise — consisting of one minute of brisk walking followed by another minute of strolling, repeated six times — allowed people at risk of diabetes to control their blood sugar better than a continuous 30-minute walk. Importantly, these short “exercise snacks,” as the scientists called the condensed sessions, were more popular with the study’s participants than the single, longer walk, the scientists reported.

Warm is good
According to a surprising new study, exercising in chilly temperatures could undermine dieting willpower (as reported in this NYTimes wellness blog).
Researchers at the U of Aberdeen in Scotland and the U of Birmingham in England decided to see what happened to appetite when people exercised upright in alternately chilly and pleasant/neutral room temperatures.
   *study participants: 16 of overweight, sedentary men and women (small study).
   * baselines: resting metabolic rate, maximum endurance capacity, and blood levels of certain hormones related to appetite (ghrelin, PYY) were determined for each participant.
   * method: each participant walked on a treadmill at a moderate pace (at ~60 percent of each person’s maximum aerobic capacity) for 45 minutes.
During one workout the temperature of the room was 68 degrees; for the second workout, the room was cooled to 46 degrees (humidity was 40% for both).
After 45 minutes the volunteers were directed to help themselves at a large food buffet, unaware that their food selections and portions would be monitored.
   *findings: after walking in the cold (46 degrees), the volunteer study participants
 -  consumed significantly more calories and, in particular, more carbohydrates than when they had strolled in the more temperate room.
 - mostly showed higher blood levels of a hormone called ghrelin that is known to spark hunger. There was little change in ghrelin levels after the warmer exercise.

 - felt more ravenous and loaded their plates with more food than when they had been warm during their workout.  - expended significantly fewer calories during the exercise session in the cold than when walking while warm.
   * conclusions: warm temperatures demand more from the body, because it must dissipate any buildup of internal heat. Blood flows away from the stomach and limbs and toward the skin surface so that the excess heat can be released.
When exercising in cooler conditions, said Daniel Crabtree, a research fellow at the U of Aberdeen who led the study, “you don’t have to pump blood to the surface to dissipate heat.” The blood instead circulates normally, picking up and distributing biochemical signals from the stomach and elsewhere that apparently prompt the release of ghrelin, augmenting appetite and undercutting your best intentions to forgo that food treat after exercise.

Before bed is good

According to research published in Sleep Medicine, 52 young healthy adults who exercised vigorously (high-intensity cardio) before bedtime fell asleep faster and woke up fewer times during the night than those who did more mellow activities.

“If we could give every individual the right amount of nourishment and exercise, not too little and not too much, we would have found the safest way to health.” -Hippocrates

Just plain good
Also from this article on 2014 fitness trends: "other studies this year underscored how wide-ranging the benefits of exercise really are.
In various experiments, physical activity was found to
- lessen and even reverse the effects of aging on human skin;
- protect against age-related vision loss; improve creativity;
- lower people’s risk of developing heart disease even if they had multiple risk factors for the condition;
- increase the numbers of good bacteria in athletes’ guts;
- raise exercisers’ pain tolerance;
- alter, in desirable ways, how our DNA works; and
- keeps us young, according to a large-scale study published in October."

May you find motivation to move this month, and be well in body, mind, and heart.

 

“To resist the frigidity of old age, one must combine the body, the mind, and the heart. And to keep these in parallel vigor one must exercise, study, and love.”  ― Charles-Victor De Bonstettin

Sensitivities

Do you have vivid dreams and a keen imagination?  

Is time alone each day essential to you?  

Do noise and confusion quickly overwhelm you?  

If your answers are yes, you may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

A couple of weeks ago a friend mentioned a book - The Highly Sensitive Person, by Elaine N. Aron - that I started reading a number of years ago and probably need to dive into again. With the holiday season upon us, and its many activities that can overstimulate some of us, this month’s 1^st Wednesday wellness talks about sensitivities, specifically HSP (the Highly Sensitive Person).

Being consumed with activity (we’re presently house remodeling!) and feeling overwhelmed (I think I have some highly sensitive characteristics), I’m defaulting to some lazy research this month – here’s a few words from Wikipedia about HSP:  NOTE: if you're not interested in this middle section (I realize long emails rarely get read); feel free to skip to the bottom to "A COUPLE OF RECOMMENDATIONS" - for a few timely suggestions that apply to us all.


Definition and brief overview
A highly sensitive person (HSP) is a person having the innate trait of high sensory processing sensitivity (or innate sensitiveness as Carl Jung originally coined it^[1][2]). According to Elaine N. Aron and colleagues as well as other researchers, highly sensitive people, who compose of about a fifth of the population (equal numbers in men and women), may process sensory data much more deeply and thoroughly due to a biological difference in their nervous systems.^[3]

Attributes and characteristics: can be remembered as DOES:
Depth of processing
Over aroused (easily compared to others)
Emotional reactivity and high empathy^[25]
Sensitivity to subtle stimuli.

More susceptible to influences, both negative and positive, especially as kids
”Research by Pluess & Belsky ^[22][23] has shown that children with difficult temperaments in infancy are more susceptible to the effects of parenting and child care quality in the first 5 years of life. Intriguingly, these children not only had more behavioral problems in response to low quality care, they also had the least problems of all children when having a history of high quality care. This suggests that children with difficult temperaments are highly susceptible rather than difficult and therefore able to benefit significantly more from positive experiences compared to other less susceptible children.”

In work situations
“HSPs can be great employees—good with details, thoughtful and loyal, vigilant about quality, but they do tend to work best when conditions are quiet and calm.^[28] Because HSPs perform less well when being watched, they may be overlooked for a promotion. HSPs tend to socialize less with others, often preferring to process experiences quietly by themselves.^[27][29]
From the book: “HSPs may be the first to be bothered by an unhealthy situation in the workplace, which could make them seem like a source of trouble. But other swill be affected in time, so their sensitivity can help you avoid problems later.”

"Do unto those downstream as you would have those upstream do unto you.” ― Wendell Berry

Contrast with introverts
“Elaine Aron responded to Susan Cain's 2012 book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking and its related Time cover story^[31] by stating that Cain was in fact describing highly sensitive persons (defined^[6] in terms of sensory processing sensitivity) and not introverts (which Aron says is recently becoming defined^[32] more narrowly in terms of social interaction).^[33] Though Aron wrote that Cain and others blurred the lines between sensitivity and introversion, Aron called the Time article "a huge, huge step" for understanding HSPs, and that as more is learned, the 30%^[32] of HSPs who are social extroverts will be better understood.^[33]“


A COUPLE OF RECOMMENDATIONS
*When you hear yourself internally say about another “What’s wrong with you?” consider that that other person might be an HSP, or just plain different that you. Please, we do well to all keep working at respecting differences – honestly and truly RESPECTING that the other is wired differently than you, has had ridiculously different experiences than you, and will not respond exactly like you. And that’s okay. Actually, that’s good (we don’t really all want to be the same, do we?) We have NO idea what life has been like or is like for the other.

*During the holidays, put on compassion. I recommend again to practice lovingkindness meditation (which some name prayer, or empathy, or love; be good to yourself by actively listening to this 13-minute link). Even if we can’t understand the other person, we can always wish them to be well, happy, peaceful, loved. Both the other and ourselves benefit from the positivity.

I write these emails mostly to remind myself of what’s important and good. It’s a bonus if you also might consider being good to yourself and others.

I wish for you all goodness, all the time. May supreme love be your this month and always.

Love came down at Christmas,
Love all lovely, Love Divine,
Love was born at Christmas,
Star and Angels gave the sign.

- Christina Rossetti

“So, friends, every day do something that won't compute...

Give your approval to all you cannot understand...

Ask the questions that have no answers. Put your faith in two inches of humus that will build under the trees every thousand years...

Laugh. Be joyful though you have considered all the facts....

Practice resurrection.”
― Wendell Berry, The Country of Marriage

Just think

The mind is its own place, and in it self/

Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.

– John Milton, Paradise Lost

A headline recently caught my eye:

“Many people prefer any activity to simply sitting quietly – even an electric shock.”

Such is a conclusion of a study led by Professor Timothy Wilson at the University of Virginia and published in the journal Science, (Wilson et al., "Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind." Science JULY 2014 • VOL 345 ISSUE 6192) with article pdf here.

The study findings:

·         49.3% of the 413 college student participants reported enjoyment that was at or below the midpoint of the scale when asked to “spend their time entertaining themselves with their thoughts” in an unadorned room for 6 to 15 minutes and then rate how much they liked the activity on a scale from 1 to 9.

·         32% of the 200 college-aged subjects admitted to "cheating" by listening to music or using their phone when asked to do the task at home (online instructions were to sit quietly for twelve minutes entertaining themselves only with their thoughts); on average, participants rated their enjoyment lower than in the laboratory setting.

·         54% cheated of the 61 community participants (average age 49, recruited at a local church and farmer's market) doing the same at-home entertain-yourself-with-your-thoughts task; their enjoyment ratings were only slightly higher.

·         67% of the male and 25% of the female college-aged participants choose electric shock over the quiet task (of the 42 participants {total of 55 in this study} who had previously said they would pay $5 to not experience the shock). Subjects were expressly told to entertain themselves with their thoughts and nothing else for 15 minutes. But they also were told that they could shock themselves by pressing a button, if they wanted. (Intriguingly, one outlier shocked himself 190 times; he was excluded from the results.)

The study’s author concludes:

“Research has shown that minds are difficult to control, and it may be particularly hard to steer our thoughts in pleasant directions and keep them there. This may be why many people seek to gain better control of their thoughts with meditation and other techniques, with clear benefits (see references in article pdf). Without such training, people prefer doing to thinking, even if what they are doing is so unpleasant that they would normally avoid it.”

 83% of Americans recently reported to the Bureau of Labor Statistics that they spent no time "relaxing or thinking" in the previous 24 hours.

Don’t just do something, sit there.

Why disengage from doing?
The mind is the tool that changes neurobiology: for example, think of the placebo effect, or think of choosing to dwell on the positive and how that affects your emotions. Consider: possibly giving attention to our thinking might help us feel or live well; and the alternate, of NOT examining our thoughts, might bring us to un-well.

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” – Blaise Pascal, 17^th-century French philosopher

One benefit of quiet thinking (for me):
Being alone with my thoughts brings me back to the important rather than the urgent: quiet gives opportunity to remind myself of what I value, what gives meaning, how I want to live and love (attending a conference recently on habits of happy people was a needed reminder to me to purpose again to—be grateful, live out my virtues, savor the moment, smile, be vulnerable, choose forgiveness, offer myself compassion).

Benefits of quiet (in general)
Googling this brings up much information and I'm sorry, but this time, distilling it down is more than I have energy for at the moment [I’m thinking I need time rather to merely sit with my own thoughts :)] Maybe you’ll be intrigued and want to do your own investigation on benefits of quiet?

Better yet, I invite you to just sit, for a few minutes, with your thoughts --
Observe them.
Avoid judging what comes to mind: merely notice it, and then let it go, like a cloud drifting away.
Please be kind to yourself.
Maybe the thoughts will bring an internal noticing of what’s truly important or meaningful to you.
Or just breathe: you don’t have to think much.
Give yourself a break: simply enjoy noticing each inhalation and exhalation, be grateful that you're still breathing.
Rest.
Appreciate the pause.

Especially during this month of Thanksgiving holiday, when you sit with your thoughts, I hope that the many good things in your life will come to mind. May we all realize our blessings.

I wish for you love and light, wellness, and all good things.

“For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel,

“In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” 

– Isaiah 30:15

Today
Today I’m flying low and I’m
not saying a word.
I’m letting all the voodoos of ambition sleep.
The world goes on as it must,
the bees in the garden rumbling a little,
the fish leaping, the gnats getting eaten.
And so forth.
But I’m taking the day off.
Quiet as a feather.
I hardly move though really I’m traveling
a terrific distance.
Stillness. One of the doors
into the temple.

by Mary Oliver from A Thousand Mornings. © The Penguin Press, 2012.