Practicing lovingkindness

“Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.” — Barbara de Angelis

 

I am intrigued by some research findings of a relatively simple practice – that of wishing good things for yourself and for others. There are variations on this theme: some call it a lovingkindness practice, some name it prayer or blessing (Christian), some call it metta (Buddhist), some name it compassion meditation.

With Valentine’s Day in just over a week, possibly you’ll want to experiment with this loving practice explained briefly below --

(or at “A Christian Loving Kindness Meditation”;  or as offered by Jack Kornfield; or listen here to a loving-kindness meditation by Ron Siegel; or watch this youtube video).

Sit comfortably. Breathe gently. Recite inwardly phrases that address this question: "What do I wish for myself and for others?" 

Some possible phrases to use (in first person to start with: we begin with ourselves because without loving ourselves it is almost impossible to love others) -

“May I be happy. May I be free from suffering. May I be peaceful. May I be loved.

May my mind be healed. May I make friends with my body. 

May I have the courage to face my fears.

May I be safe.  May I live with ease. May I learn to let go. May I be forgiving. 

May I accept whatever comes.”

Settle on three or four phrases that express most deeply your intention to cultivate kindness and well-wishes toward yourself and others.  

Repeat these phrases silently to yourself for 5-20 minutes, expanding - when you’re ready - to include different groups of people beyond yourself: “May you be happy...peaceful...live with ease…” for someone to whom you feel deep gratitude, for a beloved friend or family member, for a neutral person, for a difficult person, for all people.

Here’s just a few of the benefits to help motivate us toward engaging in this simple yet profound practice.

*enhanced empathy

“A compassion-based meditation program can significantly improve a person’s ability to read the facial expressions of others, finds a study published by Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience" (entitled “Compassion meditation enhances empathic accuracy and related neural activity”  with lead author Jennifer Mascaro, post-doctoral fellow at Emory U). This boost in empathic accuracy – after participants engaged in CBCT (Cognitively-Based Compassion Training) – was detected through both behavioral testing of the study participants and through functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) scans of their brain activity.

For more:

- listen to a TED talk by Dr. Charles Raison on how compassion meditation can reduce stress, depression, and serious illness, and cultivate compassion.

- read some details of the study: go to Emory’s eScienceCommons article  or scan the brief overview below:

This small randomized study of 21 participants had 13 individuals assigned to CBCT meditation (weekly training sessions and at-home practice for 8 weeks) and 8 control subjects who completed classes (on mind-body subjects like the effects of exercise and stress on well-being). 

Eight out of the 13 participants in the CBCT meditation group improved their RMET (Reading the Mind in the Eyes Test; consists of black-and-white photographs of eye region of people making various expressions) scores by an average of 4.6 percent, while the control participants showed no increase, and in the majority of cases, a decrease in correct answers for the RMET.

CBCT uses a cognitive, analytic approach designed to help participants recognize equanimity and the interdependence of all creatures and cultivate compassion towards others, whether family, friends, or far-flung strangers. The comprehension of shared suffering is thought to reduce negative emotions, like anger and resentment, and help nurture positive ones, like kindness and gratitude.

*increase in social connectedness
One study done at Stanford University suggests that a short 7-minute practice of loving-kindness meditation can increase social connectedness.


*reduction of pain and anger
Loving-kindness meditation in this study has been shown to reduce pain and anger in people with chronic lower back pain. 


*increases in daily experiences of positive emotions
Researcher Barbara Fredrickson at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill concluded in this 2008 study that loving-kindness meditation can help boost positive emotions and well-being in life, fostering personal resources (such as: increased mindfulness, purpose in life, social support, decreased illness symptoms). In turn, these increments in personal resources predicted increased life satisfaction and reduced depressive symptoms. Fredrickson's 2011 manuscript gives detailed background and results.

I haven't spent much time actually practicing this lovingkindness meditation yet, AND (rather than but) I hope to begin to do so more. Possibly you'll choose to join me in stepping into this beneficial loving discipline and feeling good (plus bringing good to our 'world') because of it.

May you feel deep love this month.

“Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affections…

Live in harmony with one another…” - Romans 12:9-10, 16a

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  

If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” — Dalai Lama