I will not forget you

Flatter me, and I may not believe you. 
Criticize me, and I may not like you. 
Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. 
Encourage me, and I will not forget you. 

-William Arthur Ward, college administrator, writer (1921-1994)

About food, hopefully palatable

“Look! I have given you every seed-bearing plant that grows on the earth and every fruit-bearing tree. They will be your food and nourishment.” – Genesis 1:29, The Voice paraphrase

“Food is our common ground, a universal experience.” - James Beard

"Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are." - Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

During our first St. Pat’s Day in Northfield, some friends invited us over for corned beef and cabbage, and since then we’ve continued the tradition (25 times counting this year). Good food is such a gift, and certainly so are friends!
With March as National Nutrition Month, my focus for this month’s wellness missive is on eating well. Admittedly, talking about basic food sense can be a little bland, yet hopefully there might be something here to chew on, or merely a palatable reminder.

A few interesting stats
* 54% of Americans say they would like to lose weight (of over 1000 polled by Gallup in Nov 2011). However, far fewer -- 25% -- say they are seriously trying to do so.
* One out of four American eats fast food every day. Americans spend more than $100 billion on fast food each year.
* More than half of the people in a 2012 survey by the International Food Information Council Foundation said it was easier to prepare their taxes than to figure out what they should eat for better health.

A few simple but good eating basics
~ Similar to Michael Pollan’s words from In Defense of Food – “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” –  the USDA is sending the consumer message of “Enjoy your food, but eat less.” (Yep, back to the age-old maxim of portion control; try using a smaller plate, see Less can be more.)

~ This follows the initial focus of USDA’s choosemyplate to make half your plate fruits and vegetables (grains and proteins fill the other half of the plate, not chocolate cake).

(Ever feel like eating well costs too much? Maybe look over the attached scan of Environmental Nutrition’s “Top 9 Nutrition Food Bargains” or check out Healthy Eating on a Budget.)

~ Eat mindfully – eat consciously, choose foods that are pleasing and nourishing, and use all your senses to explore, savor, taste and appreciate; this helps us slow down, eat less, increase awareness, and cultivate gratitude.

A few good tips for weight control
Research on 3,000 participants in the National Weight Control Registry, led by J. Graham Thomas, PhD, of Brown U, found the strategies listed below were shared by those who’d lost weight and kept off most of their lost pounds (these strategies are also applicable to losing weight, or not gaining weight):

Eat breakfast regularly.

Walk about an hour a day, or move and burn an equivalent amount of calories by other activities.
{Another source says: “According to dozens of studies, regular physical activity reduces the risk of heart disease, stroke, diabetes, some forms of cancer, and depression…Ten-minute spurts of activity are fine, as long as they add up to about 2.5 hours of moderate exercise per week.”}
 [It’s often helpful to track movement or progress: by using a pedometer (I’m liking my Fitbit), or by using a few other low cost gadgets or apps that I’ve not tried, only read about: Pocket Yoga, Gorilla Workout, Noom Weight Loss Coach]

Weigh yourself at least weekly.

Track food intake. Using software helps immensely: here’s a few helpful tools--
- https://www.supertracker.usda.gov  (this gov page gives access to food and physical-activity trackers, plus nutrition info on more than 8,000 foods);
 - http://www.eatright.org/ (this Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics link gives eating and cooking tips, guidance on reading nutrition labels, and offers videos that demonstrate preparation of healthy food);
 - apps for tracking food intake: MyFitnessPal or SparkPeople (both of these phone apps did well in recent Consumer Reports’ diet ratings).

Limit eating out to an average of three times a week including all meals; consume fast food less than once a week.

Limit food variety, mostly eat similar foods from week to week, and not splurge much on special occasions.

Watch fewer than 10 hours a week of TV. Not only are we not moving while in front of the TV, we often are mindlessly consuming high-calorie foods.


What might be an attainable goal for you (or me) to move toward wellness in this area of caring for our bodies? Aiming to eat off a plate half filled with fruits and veggies at least twice a week? Regularly eating breakfast? Tracking food intake for a week? Getting at least 5,000 steps in each day? Checking out an app or link to learn more? Signing up to participate in a local CSA (Community Supported Agriculture – last summer was my first time as a CSA ‘owner’ and I loved it!)

‘Tis always good to lighten up ‘-) so I’ll close with a bit of food humor. May you enjoy food, movement, and many smiles this month.  

 ~~~~~

"Moderation in all things, except chocolate." – Unknown

“I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.” -W.C. Fields

"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."  -- P. J. O’Rourke"

"The two biggest sellers in bookstores are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it." -Andy Rooney

“Health nuts are going to feel stupid some day, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” – Redd Foxx

“Number one rule of dieting: if it tastes good, spit it out.” – Unknown

Nutrition facts are useless, just show me how long I have to be at the gym if I eat this.” - Unknown

Quieter, warmer

"If only I may grow: 

firmer, simpler, -- 

quieter, warmer."

-Dag Hammarskjold, 
Secretary General of the United Nations, Nobel laureate (1905-1961)

Practicing lovingkindness

“Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.” — Barbara de Angelis

 

I am intrigued by some research findings of a relatively simple practice – that of wishing good things for yourself and for others. There are variations on this theme: some call it a lovingkindness practice, some name it prayer or blessing (Christian), some call it metta (Buddhist), some name it compassion meditation.

With Valentine’s Day in just over a week, possibly you’ll want to experiment with this loving practice explained briefly below --

(or at “A Christian Loving Kindness Meditation”;  or as offered by Jack Kornfield; or listen here to a loving-kindness meditation by Ron Siegel; or watch this youtube video).

Sit comfortably. Breathe gently. Recite inwardly phrases that address this question: "What do I wish for myself and for others?" 

Some possible phrases to use (in first person to start with: we begin with ourselves because without loving ourselves it is almost impossible to love others) -

“May I be happy. May I be free from suffering. May I be peaceful. May I be loved.

May my mind be healed. May I make friends with my body. 

May I have the courage to face my fears.

May I be safe.  May I live with ease. May I learn to let go. May I be forgiving. 

May I accept whatever comes.”

Settle on three or four phrases that express most deeply your intention to cultivate kindness and well-wishes toward yourself and others.  

Repeat these phrases silently to yourself for 5-20 minutes, expanding - when you’re ready - to include different groups of people beyond yourself: “May you be happy...peaceful...live with ease…” for someone to whom you feel deep gratitude, for a beloved friend or family member, for a neutral person, for a difficult person, for all people.

Here’s just a few of the benefits to help motivate us toward engaging in this simple yet profound practice.

*enhanced empathy

“A compassion-based meditation program can significantly improve a person’s ability to read the facial expressions of others, finds a study published by Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience" (entitled “Compassion meditation enhances empathic accuracy and related neural activity”  with lead author Jennifer Mascaro, post-doctoral fellow at Emory U). This boost in empathic accuracy – after participants engaged in CBCT (Cognitively-Based Compassion Training) – was detected through both behavioral testing of the study participants and through functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) scans of their brain activity.

For more:

- listen to a TED talk by Dr. Charles Raison on how compassion meditation can reduce stress, depression, and serious illness, and cultivate compassion.

- read some details of the study: go to Emory’s eScienceCommons article  or scan the brief overview below:

This small randomized study of 21 participants had 13 individuals assigned to CBCT meditation (weekly training sessions and at-home practice for 8 weeks) and 8 control subjects who completed classes (on mind-body subjects like the effects of exercise and stress on well-being). 

Eight out of the 13 participants in the CBCT meditation group improved their RMET (Reading the Mind in the Eyes Test; consists of black-and-white photographs of eye region of people making various expressions) scores by an average of 4.6 percent, while the control participants showed no increase, and in the majority of cases, a decrease in correct answers for the RMET.

CBCT uses a cognitive, analytic approach designed to help participants recognize equanimity and the interdependence of all creatures and cultivate compassion towards others, whether family, friends, or far-flung strangers. The comprehension of shared suffering is thought to reduce negative emotions, like anger and resentment, and help nurture positive ones, like kindness and gratitude.

*increase in social connectedness
One study done at Stanford University suggests that a short 7-minute practice of loving-kindness meditation can increase social connectedness.


*reduction of pain and anger
Loving-kindness meditation in this study has been shown to reduce pain and anger in people with chronic lower back pain. 


*increases in daily experiences of positive emotions
Researcher Barbara Fredrickson at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill concluded in this 2008 study that loving-kindness meditation can help boost positive emotions and well-being in life, fostering personal resources (such as: increased mindfulness, purpose in life, social support, decreased illness symptoms). In turn, these increments in personal resources predicted increased life satisfaction and reduced depressive symptoms. Fredrickson's 2011 manuscript gives detailed background and results.

I haven't spent much time actually practicing this lovingkindness meditation yet, AND (rather than but) I hope to begin to do so more. Possibly you'll choose to join me in stepping into this beneficial loving discipline and feeling good (plus bringing good to our 'world') because of it.

May you feel deep love this month.

“Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affections…

Live in harmony with one another…” - Romans 12:9-10, 16a

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  

If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” — Dalai Lama

Honor your self

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” – Dr. Seuss 

 

“Now I become myself.
It’s taken Time, many years and places. 

I have been dissolved and shaken,  
Worn other people’s faces…” 

– May Sarton, “Now I Become Myself”

Recently I’ve enjoyed reading about some research on temperament differences; in this month’s early January blog post hopefully you too might appreciate reading the following as you think on some of your tendencies.



Some research.
Author Susan Cain, in her book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” discusses the work of Jerome Kagan, a developmental psychologist and researcher with the Laboratory for Child Development at Harvard. At the beginning of his longitudinal study – launched in 1989 and still ongoing – Kagan and his team gathered 500 four-month old infants and predicted they’d be able to tell, on the strength of a 45-minute evaluation, which babies were more likely to turn into introverts or extroverts.

They exposed the babies to a carefully chosen set of new experiences and found wildly varying reactions to the new stimuli.

About 20% cried lustily and pumped their arms and legs (Kagan called this group “high-reactive”); about 40 percent stayed quiet and placid, moving their arms or legs occasionally (“low-reactive”); and the remaining 40% fell between these two extremes. Kagan’s prediction: the infants in the high-reactive group were most likely to grow into quieter teenagers, corresponding to introverted qualities such as more reflective or careful.

Follow up testing and interviews happened at ages 2, 4, 7, 11, and as teenagers. 
     **Some specifics on Kagan’s longitudinal experiment:
At 4 months, infants heard tape-recorded voices and balloons popping, saw colorful mobiles dance before their eyes, and inhaled the scent of alcohol on cotton swabs.
At 2 years, the children met a lady wearing a gas mask and a lab coat, a man dressed in a clown costume, and a radio-controlled robot.
At 7 years old, they were asked to play with kids they’d never met before.
At 11, an unfamiliar adult interviewed them about their personal lives.
Kagan’s team measured heart rates, blood pressures, finger temperatures and other nervous system indicators. They observed the children’s body language and recorded how often and spontaneously they laughed, talked, and smiled. They also interviewed the kids and their parents about what the children were like outside the laboratory.

Cain writes,
“Many of the children turned out exactly as Kagan had expected. The high-reactive infants, the 20% who’d hollered at the mobiles bobbing above their heads, were more likely to have developed serious, careful personalities. The low-reactive infants – the quiet ones – were more likely to have become relaxed and confident types. High and low reactivity tended to correspond, in other words, to introversion and extroversion.”


Intriguing physiology
Kagan’s predictions were based on observations of physiologies (heart rates, blood pressure, finger temperature: measurements believed to be controlled by the amygdala in our brain’s limbic system), and a hypothesis that infants born with an especially excitable amygdala would wiggle and howl with exposure to the unfamiliar and grow up to be children who were more likely to feel vigilant with meeting new people or situations. In contrast, the quiet infants were less rattled by novelty (and were more likely to exhibit extroverted tendencies).

The more reactive a child’s amygdala, the more jangled he’s likely to feel when confronting something new (the higher his heart rate, more widely dilated his pupils, the tighter his vocal cords, more stress hormone cortisol in his saliva). The sensitivity of the high-reactive’s nervous system seems to be linked not only to noticing scary things, but to noticing in general: they literally use more eye movements than others to compare choices before making a decision (possibly processing the input more, considering all the alternatives).


Our physiologies are different.

-          In another experiment from 1967, Hans Eysenck placed lemon juice on the tongues of adults; the introverts, being more aroused by sensory stimuli, were the ones who salivated more. [“The biological basis of personality” Springfield, IL: Thomas Publishing]

-          Yet another study looked at noise levels during a challenging word game, with the study participants adjusting the volume of the headsets emitting random bursts of noise. On average, the extroverts chose a noise level of 72 decibels, while the introverts selected only 55 decibels. At this level chosen by each – louder for the extroverts, quieter for the introverts – the two types were about equally aroused (as measured by heart rates and other physiological markers) and played equally well.

An invitation.
Our differing physiologies affect our way of being in this world: our preferences, our approaches. But it’s not the whole picture. Though studies indicate that personality traits like introversion and extroversion are about around 40-50% heritable, there’s still much room for environmental influence and intentional choice.

In 2013 we can embrace our genetic neuro-chemical ‘nature’ and enjoy that; additionally we can explore ways of being that are other than our inborn temperaments and ‘nurture’ those.

In this new year, which to me invites new beginnings, we GET to step into ways of living that enlarge us rather than diminish us. And so may you be enlarged -- honor your self: both your innate tendencies, and your ability to experiment and expand into ways of being that are not as familiar. May you enjoy this journey of observing and listening to your life. 

"Listen to your life. See if for the fathomless mystery that it is.  In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness:  Touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it, because in the last analysis all movements are key moments, and life itself is grace."   - Frederick Buechner

“If, as I believe, we are all made in God’s image, we could all give the same answer when asked who we are: “I AM who I Am.” One dwells with God by being faithful to ones’ nature. One crosses God by trying to be something one is not. Reality – including one’s own – is divine, to be not defied but honored.” – Parker Palmer, “Let Your Life Speak”

I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made!  - Psalm 139:14, The Message paraphrase

Under my words

Listen to Me Under My Words, by Ted Loder

O God,  I come to you now

as a child to my Mother,

out of the cold which numbs

into the warm who cares.

Listen to me inside,  
under my words 

where the shivering is,

in the fears
which freeze my living,

In the angers 
which chafe my attending,

in the doubts, 
which chill my hoping,

in the events 
which shrivel my thanking,

in the pretenses 
which stiffen my loving.

Listen to me, Lord,  as a Mother, 

and hold me warm,  and forgive me.

Soften my experiences, into wisdom, 

my pride, into acceptance, 

my longing, into trust,

And soften me 
into love

and to others 
and to you.

Quiet

“Mary quietly treasured these things in her heart, holding them dear, deep within herself.” -Luke 2:19

“The best cure for the body is a quiet mind.” –Napoleon Bonaparte

Seeking to be quiet, or have some moments that are quieter, is a good thing.

In this month’s 1^st Wednesday wellness, consider with me these benefits of quieter environments –

-- In a study recently published in the journal Psychological Reports, Aug 2012, researchers Wansink and Ittersum divided a Hardee’s restaurant into two areas: 1) unaltered, with bright lighting and colors, lots of background noise and loud music; 2) the other got a makeover with plants, paintings, softer lighting, tablecloths, candles, soft jazz, and waiter. Customers in the “fine dining” section ate 133 fewer calories, on average, than those in the regular fast-food section. They also rated the food as more enjoyable. Increased food satisfaction, decreased consumption.

-- Another study found that people learn better after a quiet stroll through the woods than after a noisy walk down a city street.

-- Also with natural environments (which are implicitly quieter), this 2010 study finds improved self-regulation.*

In "Rest is Not Idleness"  researchers report that brain systems (as shown by fMRI) activated during wakeful resting (mind wandering/daydreaming) are important for  internally focused psychosocial mental processing (i.e., imaging the future, or feeling social emotions with moral connotations).  “It is argued that the development of some socioemotional skills may be vulnerable to disruption by environmental distraction, for example, from certain educational practices or overuse of social media.”

During this season, when the pull is strong toward constant activity and sound (and maybe even also much mental activity like fretting), I wish for you plenty of restful quiet.

May you plan for and find quiet moments in these days.  And happy and peaceful holidays to you!   

---

*self-regulation is the ability to act in your long-term best interest, consistent with your deepest values. (Violation of one's deepest values causes guilt, shame, and anxiety, which undermine well being.) Emotionally, self-regulation is the ability to calm yourself down when you're upset and cheer yourself up when you're down.

** a few more quotes or verses on quiet and silence below, for you to ponder, if you want.

“The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind.” – Albert Einstein

“Learn to be quiet enough to hear the genuine within yourself so that you can hear it in others.” –Marian Wright Edelman

“…(have) the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” – I Peter 3:3-5

The simplest spiritual discipline is some degree of solitude and silence. But it's the hardest, because none of us want to be with someone we don't love. Besides that, we invariably feel bored with ourselves, and all of our loneliness comes to the surface…Radical Grace: Daily Meditations, p. 106, day 114

Silence is the necessary space around things that allows them to develop and flourish without my pushing.” – Richard Rohr, Contemplation in Action

“For thus the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, has said, “In repentance and rest you will be saved, In quietness and trust is your strength.”  - Isaiah 30:15

Let all mortal flesh keep silence, by Gustav Holst

Let all mortal flesh keep silence, / And with fear and trembling stand; / Ponder nothing earthly-minded, / For with blessing in His hand, / Christ our Lord to earth descendeth / Our full homage to demand.

King of Kings, yet born of Mary, / As of old on earth He stood, / Lord of Lords, in human vesture, / In the Body and the Blood, / He will give to all the faithful / His own Self for heavenly food.

“Being silent means waiting, waiting for the Other to say something to us. Being silent before God means making room for God, to breathe in the will of God, to listen attentively… The time of silence is a time of responsibility, and of blessedness, a time when we live in the peace of God. ‘For God alone my soul in silence waits.’ (Ps 62:1)” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Meditating on the Word

Guide Me into an Unclenched Moment, by Ted Loder, Guerrillas of Grace

Gentle me,

Holy One,

Into an unclenched moment,

  A deep breath,

    A letting go

      Of heavy expectancies,

        Of shriveling anxieties,

           Of dead certainties,

That, softened by the silence,

   Surrounded by the light,

       And open to the mystery,

I may be found by wholeness,

   Upheld by the unfathomable,

      Entranced by the simple,

         And filled with the joy

            That is you.

Singing

"The only thing better than singing is more singing." 

- Ella Fitzgerald

I've been privileged to listen to much music in the past week: St. Olaf's Christmas fest concert on Thursday, and over the weekend some lively music in church and a holiday program of a grandson.
Plus I got to enjoy the singing with people I love - sister Cindy joined me for the Christmas festival concert, both of us adorned with our Norwegian sweaters.